I have someone in my life who was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer earlier this year. they said they'd try to give her up to at least another 6 years to live which if you read it might seem like a long time, but she is in major pain from everything I hear. they want to give her at least those 6 years so her youngest son can remember her by then. I have tried to talk about my feelings directly with her but she's really only talking to her family I guess. she has very brittle bones because of her cancer, which has already caused her to break both of her hips, putting her in a wheelchair. her friends and community came up with a fundraiser to get her the money she needed for accommodations in her home for her wheelchair and other issues that may arise or have arisen from her cancer. she has a very strong reaction to her chemotherapy, so much so it's almost deadly. but she still has to go in every 2 or 3 weeks and do it. I am having a very hard time coping with this, when I first found out, I think I cried almost nightly plus some during most days. I also blame god for allowing this to happen in the first place as well as letting this continue. in my eyes, he may as well be her murderer. because he has the power to stop her cancer and of all the people I've known, if any of them were to get cancer it'd be her and one other person I think deserve to be saved the most. she is the most caring, loving, kindest, tell it like it is, make you feel loved, animal loving, big hearted person I know. and eventually she will no longer be around this world. and i don't know how I'll cope with that, nor how to process it. I don't drink and I never plan to, but this is almost enough to drive me to drink.
