Cancer of Uknown Primary - Metastases to the Liver
My Dad has just been diagnosed with CUP, with Metastases to the Liver. He also has tumors on his lungs and also in his hip bone.
Prior to the diagnosis he was not well, having trouble eating many foods. He was diagnosed on the 24th of Jan 2013. We met with the oncologist last week and we were told the news of the CUP.
My Dad suffers with anxiety and panic attacks, so he asked the oncologist to not divulge the details including life expectancy. ( I semi understand his reasoning but am confused as to how someone can make a decision on treatment and general life outlook without knowing all the details & facts) I am unsure as to whether if I was to know his life expectancy whether it make any difference to anything? I guess we just live day to day based on how he is feeling. Obviously I have googled it but there are many conflicting reports.
Prior to the diagnosis he was not well, but still had a spark in his eye, managing to do a few tasks that resembled some form of being. He had a panic attack last week which kept him in hospital for 3 nights. He was released after the oncologist appt. He was happy to get home but there has been a rapid decline in his abilities /weight/ appetite and mobility etc.
He is now freaking out about everything especially bowel motions and wont take any direction unless if is from a medical practitioner. He doesn't want to be in hospital but likes the safwty of being there. One day he has diarrhea so the next day he doesn't eat much then he is constipated. Common sense would tell you that if you dont eat then you dont poop blah blah blah. He says it hurts when he eats. I understand that his liver is swollen and eating causes discomfort. I aaked if it mattered about the amount of food that was eaten whether eating more or less makes any different to the pain level, he replied no, to which i dont understand is then why isnt he eating as much he can to help his immunity?
We nearly sent him to hospital again this afternoon as he had another panic attack about being constipated, mum & I managed to calm him down.
Has anyone on the forums cared for a relative with cancer and anxiety? His body language tells me hes given up hope and seems to be ok with burying his head in the sand at times (obviously a coping mecahnism) Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to help lift him and calm him and help him with some daily activity?? if he continues in his current midset the future is very bleak.
Through an educated guess the oncologist has decided to suggest lung cancer chemo, which he starts on Thursday. I'm glad that he is opting for chemo and he is putting alot of hope on it but I am concerned his mind set is not where it needs to be? to begin this journey.
Any feedback or tips would be great!
Thanks in advance
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.