Frustrated Sister.

[#1]

Thanks for the wishes :) My sister was informed yesterday that she won't see another Christmas. this is something 'we' all knew, but no one had really sat down and discussed her condition with her. She asked how long she was looking at, but they just said it could be a week, it could be a month... we don't know. She was too sick to have her 2nd round of chemo last week as planned. She has a bowel obstruction but x-rays suggest it's a tumour issue (possible in her abdominal cavity and not the bowel itself) so they aren't operating or anything. Other than that, very little news. She came home from radiotherapy and managed to be at home for about 24 hours, and then it was into one of the base hospitals due to the obstruction. They have said she might be OK to go home on Monday. There's been a lot of family drama at the moment, generally revolving around her mother in law and husband which has made things really difficult, particularly for her 23yo daughter and my mother. Mum has been a nurse for almost 40 years, so everyone expects her to be their medical liaison and not have any feelings, but no one is considering the fact that she's losing a daughter, which is really hard to watch. That, and boundary issues with the mother in law, mostly. My brother also said to her the other day while planning to come up this weekend that she needs to 'concentrate on the living'... idiot - all because my mother is exhausted and didn't expect to be able to spend time with his 6 & 8yo's this weekend due to the hospital thing and her being so tired (they are quite ummm energetic). He's 43 going on 10 sometimes (I'm so much younger because I'm the second marriage baby, hahaha). I just feel like we'll all have time, we'll have time in a month, or two, or whatever. We don't need to push for attention right now!!!!! Anyway sorry about the vent, just needed to get it out there.

[julie190270]

Just want u to know Im thinking of u at this hard time,and remember theres always one in the family who is selfish and still only thinks about me,me,me,ignore him ,hes not worth wasting ur precios time and energy on , take care and cyber huggs to u all Julie x

[Sailor]

Hi Aylaah Go right ahead and vent, and do not apologise. It is what this site is for, amongst other things. It is really tough for your family just at present. Don't forget the Cancer Helpline 131120 it is there for everyone affected by cancer not just those who have it. There is also some fantastic material around about helping children, ask them about it. It is also that dreadful uncertainty. A friend of mine died last year from cancer - she was given three weeks and lived another four months. She commented to me how she felt such a fraud as she had got the family together, said all the goodbyes, put things in order and was still there four months later. So yes it is a bit like "how long is a piece of string?" and again a demonstration that we are all unique individuals. So take care and look after yourself as well as your family will need you. Regards Sailor And when the day arrives I'll become the sky and I'll become the sea and the sea will come to kiss me for I am going home. Nothing can stop me now. Trent Reznor

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Aylaah, My heart goes out to you, your sister and the extended family. You have all had to deal with so much in such a short period of time, it is an unenviable situation. I admire your strength and courage and your love and care for your sister, her family and your Mum. Time is precious, remember to take some time to nurture yourself whilst you are nurturing everyone else. Wishing you strength and courage, Jill

[samex]

Hi Aylaah, Please take heart from all of us here. Never apologise for venting - we all do it . We all need it. The not knowing how long must be agonising but I guess it menas that you deal with what you see as important. Beautiful quote Sailor. Samex

[Jules2]

Aylahh I have struggled to know the right words to say to you ... i an just say my heart goes out to you all and i hope that your sister can be kept comfortable in her time left. As samex has said, that is a beautiful quote sailor ... thank you Julie xo

[Teacher_Mum]

Like Julie, the right words don't come easy. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and wishing you all the love and light in the world to help this journey become a little easier to bear. Teach xxx

[mihalo]

Just wanted to say what a great sister you are, as it must be very hard for you too. How is your sister doing? My friends mum was diagnosed with malignant melinoma 25 years ago that had metastasized. Basically she had it from her foot where the primary was and mets up her leg and all through the abdominal cavity, in liver, uterus and other places. She was given 6 months to live, had 5 kids and began a trial. That was 25 years ago, she has since even beaten Thyroid cancer too.....hang on to hope and good stories of survival like that. xxoo

[larn75]

Thinking of you Aylaah, Cherish each moment. Alana

[#10]

I wanted to come in and give you an update. On friday morning my sister passed away, aged 40. She was conscious right up until the end, she spoke to her husband, rolled over and went. Her funeral is on Tuesday. Thanks for the support over the last couple of months.