How to ask about life expectancy

[vatbub]

Hello guys,

I know that I am asking about a difficult topic and I thus figured that it would be the best thing to ask people who are directly concerned by cancer.

Background: I am designing a role-play based on the book "The Fault in Our Stars" by "John Green" which is about a young girl with lung cancer. In that book, she asks another patient, who is still going to school, about his life expectancy by asking him whether he still goes to school. According to her, that seems to be the politest way to ask about life expectancy, because children with low life expectancy tend to be taken out of school by their parents.

In the role-play, I want to give the player the choice to ask the question in a very polite but also in a very rude way. The other person's reaction will depend on the player's choice.

I am therefore asking:

- What is, in your opinion, the politest way to ask about someones life expectancy?

- What is the most rude way to ask about life expectancy in your opinion and how would it make you feel if someone asked you like that?

Again, I know that this isn't an easy topic and I am therefore very thankful for your answers.

Cheers,

vatbub

[Katekat]

Hi @vatbub,

This is probably not the appropriate place to be asking such things, as we're here to support people affected by cancer. Everyone's experiences are different.

However, the following resources may be of help to you:

• Facing end of life - pdf book
• Managing fear - podcast
• How to help someone with cancer - podcast
• Coping with a cancer diagnosis - podcast

All the best,

Kate

[CaptainAustrali]

"What is your prognosis ?"

Be courteous, respectful, listen actively, and if they show signs of clear discomfort, cease the line of questioning.

[CaptainAustrali]

Rude version:   how long do I have to wait for you to die ?