Is my Husband dying?

New Member

Is my Husband dying?

 Hi everyone, 


This is my first time posting here so please bare with me. My husband has been battling Head and neck cancer for 8 years now. He had surgery, radiation and chemo the first time he was diagnosed with cancer and was told that he was cancer free after the last round of treatments. 5 years later the cancer came back and he had to go through radiation and chemo again, this time he was not a candidate for surgery. At the end of the treatments we were told the cancer was still there, but it had shrunk considerably and would continue to shrink even though he was done with the treatments ( I was very skeptical about this). 6 months ago he had a PET scan and it showed the cancer had spread into more lymph nodes and now was in his right tonsil. He was told that he was going to be placed on immunotherapy and palliative care. The immunotherapy was meant to slow down the cancer and not so much as a cure for the cancer, but the doctors had their fingers crossed. 


 My Husband has always been a fairly active man, even when he was on radiation and chemo. However, for the last few weeks he has been complaining about being exhausted and tired all of the time. He spends most of his days in bed and sleeping a great deal of the day. He might come out in the living room and sit in his recliner for a couple of hours, but then he is back in bed again. He also hasnt been eating as much. He is also complaining about having a lot of pain in his right upper abdomen. He has a lot of pain after eating a small meal. He says his stomach hurts and he feels nauseous after eating. He has even thrown up a couple of times after eating just the last 2 days. We had the pain in his upper abdomen checked out by the hospital emergency room doctors and they couldnt find anything and thought it was possibly a muscle strain. My husband still works, but he has been calling in sick more and more lately. i beg him to just quit his job and stay home ( enjoy what time he has left ) and he refuses to quit his job. 


 My question is.....Im worried that the cancer has progressed and he is in the end stage of this terrible journey battling cancer. What was/is your experience with your loved one at the end of their battle with cancer. How fast can the cancer take my husband from me? Did they go through a period of time where they slept a lot and ate very little?  Im scared that my Husbands time on earth is coming to an end. He asked me earlier today if he was dying....I didnt know what to say except "I dont know". I dont want to scare him by telling is what I really think is happening. 

Super Contributor

Re: Is my Husband dying?

Hi LauraT,

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband and what you are going through.

It's very difficult and I feel for you.


I don't think that any of us here can give you any realistic expectation of how long your husband has left to live. There are just so many variables.


I think that it may be difficult for your husband to quit his job as his job might partly define who he is?

Or maybe that his job and working provides him with some form of hope or normality?

All of this difficult and confronting for anyone and everyone.

Thinking of you LauraT.







New Member

Re: Is my Husband dying?

Good day laura t

im so sorry to hear about your husbands situation and on that note was hoping if this message finds you would it be possible to ask you a few questions as you’re in a position to help mental state at this Present moment of my life as there is something really really important I need to ask and you and others in such position is the only advice I’m looking for at this present moment of time of my life please feel free to message me and I hope to hear from you very soon. 

please never loose hope miracles do happen and I pray for your husband to make a full recovery don’t loose hope take care 


Kind regards


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Occasional Contributor

Re: Is my Husband dying?

Hi Laura,


I think you need to speak with your husbands oncologist, the Immunotherapy can have some bad side effects and this might be a big contributor to how he is feeling?


Palliative care should include speaking with a councillor, so I hope this option has been given to your husband. 


Not for everyone, but cannabis might provide some pain relief and stimulate appetite. Personally I take this as a suppository, better absorption without the high.


I hope you get some answers.




Re: Is my Husband dying?

Hi there, I just checked your post. I'm feeling really sad and sorry about your husband's condition. I just want to know how he is doing now?

Have you visited the doctor, have you consulted with the doctor regarding these symptoms of tiredness of your husband and that he has lost his appetite. I think it could be due to the side effects of immunotherapy. 

I hope he'll be all right, be by his side as much as you can. 

Best wishes! 

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