Hi Aaki1990, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this, especially at a time when you should just be enjoying being a mum. I was diagnosed with colon cancer in December, my youngest was 7 months. I was still breastfeeding at the time and had to express before the PET scan and colonoscopy. I would then need to hide so she wouldn't see me and scream for milk direct from the source. It was terrible! I weaned my daughter before I started chemo and to be honest she seems to be totally unaffected by the whole thing. My Mum has helped a lot and my partner has been so much more hands on then with our oldest. Because he can be, he loves that he can feed her. On to the actual cancer diagnosis, of course you are in shock and feeling depressed! Do not beat yourself up about this, give yourself time to process. You will have lots of feelings of "I'm too young for this s**t" and it is a bit confronting when you get asked over and over "Do you have any hearing aids? False teeth?" I'm 37 and usually the youngest getting chemo, but the nurses go above and beyond to make me feel comfortable. I was given advise at the start by a survivor, he said to only think about the current step, don't think too far ahead. I can't say I've followed this well, but he's right. Every time I've really gotten overwhelmed is when I'm thinking about the long term future. And the fact is what I'm envisioning is not what's going to happen. I contacted Bowel Cancer Australia and they were so helpful. They also have a buddy program so I have someone to talk to going through a similar experience. Breast Cancer Australia probably has something similar. When I was diagnosed I felt like I was building my army around me to get ready to go to war. A good Oncologist, surgeon, family, friends, daycare centre, etc, etc. On the positive, if you can call it that. I am so aware of time now, it is so valuable. Ever minute I spend with my kids, partner, friends is so precious. I make sure I am as available as I can be. Ever when I'm fatigued from chemo I just sit on the ground and let the girls climb all over me and I can not think of a better way to spend my time. If you want tips and tricks for side effects or what to pack for chemo day or the like, I am more then happy to let you know what works for me. I wish you all the best with your treatment. Carly
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