Oh Tom, my heart breaks for your family! It is the worst.
During my come down day, after the high from the steroids, I can get very negative! I'm writing my death letters to my girls and my partner in my head, bawling my eyes out. I've spoken with a psychologist and now have a few tricks to stop myself "falling down the hole". I've found it has gotten better.
At the time I was diagnosed the tragedy on White Island was unfolding, I kept thinking these people were on holiday - kids, multiple family members, terrible! I'm so thankful that I have time, maybe not as much as I thought, but still time. Both my daughter's are getting a shiny spot on their heads from all my kisses. And I tell all my friends and family that I love them every time I speak with them.
Even though my Oncologist has said there is no cure, just management, I haven't given up on a miracle. This might be it https://www.sciencealert.com/new-t-cell-therapy-kills-most-human-cancer-types-and-might-work-across-...
I hope you have friends and family around you. If your wife ever wants to email and compare treatment or tactics for side effects let me know. Also she should contact Bowel Cancer Australia, they have been an amazing support. I've spoken with their nurse and nutritionist, they also matched me with a peer/buddy going through the same thing. Talking to him has been very helpful!
I'm sure you feel very alone, but you are not, you've got a beautiful family that loves you. Take pleasure in the time you have, make as many memories as you can. And keep your fingerscrossed for a miracle.
Carly
