Only a few months

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Only a few months

Hi my husband has been battling stage 4 mantle b cell lymphoma for 8 months now. All chemo has failed and been told his cancer is terminal and only a few months to live. We both are devasted. We are so lost.

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Frequent Contributor

Re: Only a few months

Hi Jenniferwang,

 

I’m sorry to hear your news.  Even though the doctors have given just a few months more, they don’t know exactly when someone is going to die. 

It depends alot on the persons attitude & whether or not they are ready.  If he’s in alot of pain & depression, he may go sooner.   If he’s going well, he may go on for a long time to come. 

 

I am very sorry. Please take care. 

Budgie 

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Re: Only a few months

Thank you budgie. Had cried our eyes out with family yesterday and today. Total loss. He is not in the great health. He is weak. But we are still fighting. 

Contributor

Re: Only a few months

Ok i will look into it

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Occasional Visitor

Re: Only a few months

Hi Jennifer, I am really sorry to hear about your husband. This is horrible news.

 

My dad was given similar news 6 weeks ago after living for 12 months with a stage IV bowel cancer diagnosis. He is 65 and I'm 30. I am now caring for him full time.

 

There's not much anyone can say in this situation, but I want to offer some words of advice that have helped me in the past few weeks.

 

Firstly - there will be moments of beauty. It's not over yet. There will be days where things will seem completely normal. Make sure you seize those days with both hands and enjoy every second of them. Every day will be different and some days will be good ones. On the bad days, cry as much as you want. I like to drive away in my car and just scream. Then I pick myself up and get back to it.

 

Secondly - make sure you are accessing all the help you can get. You may need to do your own research as the doctor will not always tell you what is available. Depending on where you live there's likely an amazing palliative care support team available to you. We have nurses that come every day, that is a completely free service. Some days we don't need them, but they come anyway. And they are not just for your husband but for you too.

 

Nobody is alone in cancer. It's happening to both of you, but know there is support around you and that everything will be ok. Just take this time to love him as much as you can.

 

I wish you all the best <3

Contributor

Re: Only a few months

thank you selinam. Yes we have Silverchain coming to visit my husband and the doctor came too. they are very nice people as they call daily to check on my husband.

 

his condition got worse and we had to take him to emergency and end up staying in the hositpal for a week.

he is home now resting and silverchain calls to check on him.

 

nice to know there is people out there that cares. 

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Occasional Contributor

Re: Only a few months

Jennifer people do care, have the strength to carry on. At 82 I know I am at the end of my time on earth, to have cancer return at this stage is something I never thought I could handle, but I must. My prayers go out to you and your husband and family.
From Western Australia.
Frequent Contributor

Re: Only a few months

I just wanted to say sorry for your situation

 

For him, it's awful.  Not really the physical suffering - the worst part is knowing that time is short, knowing that you may soon have to say goodbye.

You face the same thing, and in a way it's worse - you have to watch it happen, and continue after he passes.

I wish and hope there is a chance for him to fight this disease and win.  I was in a very similar boat 2+ years ago, but was able to beat the cancer.  I hope that's a possibility for him too.

It sounds like it's going against him, I just wanted to say good luck, and sorry.

I hope he rallies and lives as long as possible, but if he does pass away, I hope you remember to ask for help for yourself.  You will need help and support to deal with it, and there are resources available to you, and plenty of people here who have common experiences.

Me personally - I like to be alone with grief & fear.  It's only joy and happiness that I'm interested in sharing.

BUT .. I'm an old turtle who pulls into his shell when things go wrong.  You're probably not the same .. remember to reach out and seek help at all times throughout this horrible challenge you are dealing with.  Prioritising and protecting your own overall mental health, I mean.

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Contributor

Re: Only a few months

Sometimes chemo fails.

 

Get radiation.

 

I don't know who can tell you that "the meter is running down."

Every case is different.

 

Did the chemo help at all?

 

Point being if T-cell lymphocytes or B-cell lymphocytes have shown

any improvement?

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Re: Only a few months

Thank you for your support. My husband is still fighting this cancer. It has been tough. Been on so many chemo, radiation and trial drugs and it keeps coming back. Can't shake it. He is very emotional every day. I am too. But we still staying positive and fighting this together. 

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