Hi Layla18, I'm 68 and have leukemia. I'm lucky with that as Leukemia is one of the kinder ones. I cant stand pain and chose a treatment that doesnt cause pain or degrade my life. When I was a teenager I joined the army, and as a result of that found myself thinking about death and dying because I figured that might make me a better soldier. I've been working on that ever since. When I go to sleep at night I dont lay there fearing death, I feel grateful I am not in pain, and that I have had a fairly long and interesting life. I'm not young anymore and have lived out the things I dreamed of doing when I was young like you. Mourning the loss of a bright and beautiful future must be very very cruel and hard. That isnt fair and its not right and it makes no sense. It is tragic. I can say that when I was a young soldier I worked at a base that repaired tanks and stuff. And as I walked around the place doing things, often tanks would rumble passed me on there way to the workshop. Sometimes I would shiver as I imagined being in a war, facing a tank. I wasnt a very good soldier. Now I know I have some months and maybe 2 years left, and I have a great curiosity about the after life. Is there one? What's it like? Who on earth is right and wrong about it? If there is one, will one young people like you have all their dreams come through, even though not on earth ? For me, I can't imagine what I'll be doing with all that spare time. Still, I know people have souls. And souls grow. I do not understand why illness takes young people away far too soon. I understand why my time is nearly up and I am not sad about it. I have not missed out on anything. You have. I hope and pray that one the other side, all your dreams come true. Heaven will be a better place because of you, and the ones you love and who love you, will be home up there soon with you. I have no doubt you fought a brave and good fight.
