Dad died and never got to say goodbye because of Covid

Rachel1
New Contributor

Dad died and never got to say goodbye because of Covid

My dad died on 3rd August 2021 only 4 weeks after receiving a lung cancer diagnosis. The doctors thought he would have at least a year to live but unfortunately he got an infection and died very suddenly. The cancer had already first to his spine which was broken in 2 places and his brain. He was still making jokes despite the pain he was in. He had been suffering with back pain for months but had been to the GP 4 times who says he had a slipped disk and did no tests. My dad was a very heavy smoker.

 

I'm Irish living in Australia and because of travel restrictions I did not get home in time to see him which I don't think I will ever get over. I loved him so much. I turned 27 a few days after he died and had not seen him in almost 2 years. I feel I missed out on so much precious time with him. He absolutely loved children and it breaks my heart that he will never meet mine if I have them.

 

I had planned to take 3 months unpaid leave to come home and be with him and care for him. Even though this would have meant I might have been giving up my life in Australia. None of us thought he would go that quickly, especially my Dad who never gave up hope. Maybe it was better for him that he didn't have to go through loads of treatments and chemotherapy.

 

It all feels like too much to bear at times.

3 REPLIES 3
LindaG
Contributor

Re: Dad died and never got to say goodbye because of Covid

Hi Rachel. So sorry you lost your dad in such awful circumstances.  And so suddenly is hard and not being able to be with your family. I just hope you have good support around you here in Australia. One day you’ll be able to go home and grieve with your family. Sending you love and prayers. Xx Linda G 

VM
Contributor

Re: Dad died and never got to say goodbye because of Covid

I don't know what is worse...having a long illness and slow decline.....one which goes bam! And even with a slow decline, when death approaches, it approaches faster than we expect; blind siding us.

 

I'm so sad you weren't able to be near Dad, he sounds remarkable

Stirlz
New Contributor

Re: Dad died and never got to say goodbye because of Covid

Hey Rach,

 

I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I’m 26, and like you, just lost my father in August after a two year battle with cancer. That was my also my biggest fear, him not meeting my children, but just know that he lives on in you. When you do have kids one day, I know that he’ll be so proud of you despite not physically being with you. In fact, I know even now how proud he was of you. It’s a fatherly love that just can’t be faked. Cherish all your memories with him, and just know that he’ll always be there to guide you. We’ll get through this together, one way or another. I’m not a religious guy, but I always tell my heartbroken mum that one day, we’ll be together again as a family. A love and bond like that, it’s just way too strong. Hoping you can share some happy moments with your dad, even if you think he’s not here, he is 🙂

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