My beautiful partner Stephen passed away due to pancreatic on the 17th of October at 5pm. It has been extremely hard for me. I have only left the house three times since his passing, to go to see the funeral directors, to go to a special place and then to his memorial and scattering of his ashes. I haven't left the house since his memorial. I am finding it very hard and I haven't driven our car since his passing.
I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble, you may wish to look up a Grief/Bereavement Counselor in your city/region - maybe someone to check-in with weekly/fortnightly?
They could help you process the grief but also give you support for moving forward and being able to feel OK with leaving the house, developing social activities etc.
I empathise as I've had some pre-Grief with a family member dealing with cancer treatment right now.
Best wishes and take care - CMS2020
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