Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

I sat there yesterday with my poor Dad.... 3years on with multiple myeloma. Nearly half the weight he was...face gaunt....grey. I cried my heart out as they took him off for his daily radio therapy. Its very hard.... i really don't want to see my Dad looking worse than he is now.... its breaking my heart...as well as my mum and sister. Each time we see him he looks worse...now off food..just trying to think of things to give him. My Dad got worse last November when he fell in the bath....broke his back then he started to go down hill from there.Dads also starting to get confused....all the medications etc. I decided yesterday that i needed to talk to him about the future...when the time comes...what he wants and doesn't want. Broke my heart and Dad also got upset ...but we kept it very brief. I lost my dearest friend in February after fighting first breast cancer 7 years ago...the two years ago was diagnosed with breast and bone mets. Tried to support my friend and gradually watch her change in front of me as this gastly disease took hold!!! I'm not sure why im on this....its not about me .... its about my Dad now....but I just feel... incredibly anxious at times....awfully sad.....i need constant distractions to make me forget for a while. I have great support with my husband...but I'm sure he must be sick of me crying and the kids ha! I suppose I'm here for advice??? The end of my Dads life...... is there anything I should do????? not do??? Thanks anyway if you take the time to read this spiel.
Reply
0 Kudos
3 REPLIES 3
Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Re: Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

Oh honey, I feel for you. Re dad can you tempt him with custard, mousse, trifle, ice cream, chocolates, basically anything that is high calorie. Have you tried protein drinks? You must make time for yourself too and keep up your strength. I really can't talk as lost a third of my weight when nursing hubby at home Pallitive care. But you must eat too, and go for a walk, just have time out. It must be doubly hard for you losing your friend so recently and now dads poor health. Re towards the end of Dads life, just be there for him, tell him how much he means to you, how you have appreciated all he has done for you. Hold his hand and be there when you can. Do it now, at the end of the day you want to have no regrets Hope this has helped. Sending you a virtual hug Kathy x
Reply
0 Kudos
Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Re: Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

Dear Kathy, Thankyou so much for your kind words. I told Dad what he meant to me. In the end he went in to a hospice....were my mum sister and myself practically lived at. my beautiful...strong...brave. .. courageous Dad passed away 2 weeks ago. My heart feels the pain. ... but even though this horrible pointless disease won!....it could never take away how incredibly close we became...how much i learnt from my Dad. One day I'll be with him again...holding his hand. We had never told each other we loved each other till this last year... i massaged my Dads hands...feet.....we hugged....i stroked his hair..face. we had never been so close with Dad, me and my sister in our whole lives. We learnt so much...this nasty disease brought us closer together as a family...and it will never take that away!!! I do hope you are ok? X Thankyou again. X
Reply
0 Kudos
Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Re: Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

So sorry to read your news. Honey he is no longer suffering. It's the folk left behind that have to grieve. You and your nearest and dearest did all you could. Have no regrets. Be reassured you were there and said all you did. Thinking of you x
Reply
0 Kudos
Post new topic
Talk to a health professional
Cancer Council support and information 13 11 20Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm
Cancer Information and Support

Online resources and support

Access information about support services, online resources and a range of other materials.

Caring for someone with cancer?

Find out what resources and support services are available to assist you.