Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

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Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

I sat there yesterday with my poor Dad.... 3years on with multiple myeloma. Nearly half the weight he was...face gaunt....grey. I cried my heart out as they took him off for his daily radio therapy. Its very hard.... i really don't want to see my Dad looking worse than he is now.... its breaking my heart...as well as my mum and sister. Each time we see him he looks worse...now off food..just trying to think of things to give him. My Dad got worse last November when he fell in the bath....broke his back then he started to go down hill from there.Dads also starting to get confused....all the medications etc. I decided yesterday that i needed to talk to him about the future...when the time comes...what he wants and doesn't want. Broke my heart and Dad also got upset ...but we kept it very brief. I lost my dearest friend in February after fighting first breast cancer 7 years ago...the two years ago was diagnosed with breast and bone mets. Tried to support my friend and gradually watch her change in front of me as this gastly disease took hold!!! I'm not sure why im on this....its not about me .... its about my Dad now....but I just feel... incredibly anxious at times....awfully sad.....i need constant distractions to make me forget for a while. I have great support with my husband...but I'm sure he must be sick of me crying and the kids ha! I suppose I'm here for advice??? The end of my Dads life...... is there anything I should do????? not do??? Thanks anyway if you take the time to read this spiel.
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Re: Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

Hi Blue...So sorry to hear your plight. I have only been on this horrible journey now for under 12 months, but have said goodbye to a few "online friends" and acquaintances I have met along the way at Hospitals and Oncology. This is a very cruel and heartless disease.Originally (untreated) I was given 3 months to live, but now have been given a brighter outlook with the help of Chemo and diet.I have been able to try to "maintain" my weight by learning how to combat some of the side effects of the Radiation and Chemo.Eating/Drinking smoothies is a good way to help (especially when there are some many recipes available (We have even made up our own!!) and to combat any nausea I use ,not only the prescribed" Pramin tablets, but also Ginger Tablets (high dose Travel ones) and drink Dry ginger often,also LOTS of water ( sometimes with a bit of Poweraid for the taste)I also credit "Astragalus and Wheat Grass Tablets" as a supplement to my immune system.These HAVE been approved by my Oncologist Pharmacist.I hope some of this helps. I have got a lot of links that my Daughter has researched if you think that may help. Now....for yourself...please find out if there is someone, somewhere that you can talk to about all of this.Either paid or free advice (maybe through your local Information and support Centre...Doctor..Oncology..Palliative care..Australian Cancer Care (give em a call..their good)..or Cancer support Centres. If you can learn to be stronger I`m sure it will be easier for you to comfort and support your Dad and Family.My wife has just gone through 4 months of regular meetings with Councilors,and she recommends it (and I am her Carer and have been for many years). I hope you Dad starts to feel a bit better and if there is anything We can help, please dont hesitate to ask.
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Re: Lost my best friend.....and losing again....my Dad......

Dear Friend, I want to thankyou so much for all your advice. Such kind words helped me. I made the smothies for my Dad which he liked.In the end he went in to a hospice for the nausea and vomiting which they managed to control... My mum sister and myself practically lived at the hospice. my beautiful...strong...brave. .. courageous Dad passed away 2 weeks ago. My heart feels the pain. ... but even though this horrible pointless disease won!....it could never take away how incredibly close we became...how much i learnt from my Dad. One day I'll be with him again...holding his hand. I do hope you are ok my friend? Thankyou again. X
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