My mum lost her battle with cancer on 16th Feb, 2022. She was 76 years old.
She passed away surrounded by her children, not in pain we were told thanks to morphine, in palliative care in hospital.
Her first cancer diagnosis was in 2005 for breast cancer, she had a full mastectomy, chemo that made her really sick and lost her hair and lots of radiation, then was in remission until 2016.
In 2016 around the birth of my first son, she was re-diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer stage IV. That felt like a real kick in the guts, we were devastated, there's no other way to describe that, but we soldiered on together, she started more chemo treatment and regular check-ups, CT scans and she had one round of radiation and it was day by day, week by week.
Then last year in October, 2021, Just before my second baby turned 1, we were told her cancer spread to her gallbladder and the peritoneum and that it was very aggressive but there was still one more chemo to try, so she did. Mum was such a fighter. She never complained, not once. She just got on with things.
This chemo was nasty though. FUCK CANCER. I have screamed, I have punched walls. I have been raising 2 kids, caring full time for my mum and running a business from home. I did what I could for mum. She stopped driving. She stopped walking. I was watching her slowly slip away. I'm grateful that I did things she loved to do with her and sat and talked with her when she needed it until she couldn't even open her eyes on her last day.
In late January the ascites started in her abdomen and we were told that the chemo wasn't working and Mum had life expectancy of weeks to maybe months from there.
She died just shy of 3 weeks from that last meeting we had with the oncologist. The Oncology staff, hospital staff and palliative care team were all amazing, such caring, wonderful people.
My mum loved reading, puzzles, cinema, gardening, stitch-work, her kids and grandkids, singing in public places when she heard a song she knew and her dog Bo. We all miss her terribly and there is this huge hole in our family that just can't be filled. She leaves behind 4 children, 9 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.
If anyone reading this has a loved one going through a similar cancer and wants to ask questions or talk I'm happy to reply to you.
I lost my dad almost 6 years ago. It's normal to feel angry. Cancer certainly tests your patience and resilience. Just find peace in knowing that you did all you could. The rest was out of your hands. I had similar feelings of frustration watching my dad's life deteriorate. Remember that in the end, you were probably her last connection to humanity. So be proud of that.
I'm the same. There were many qualities in my dad that I never appreciated at the time. But now I realise that they were only there to benefit me. I was just too stubborn to realise! He wasn't being difficult at all, he was just trying to guide me. We all live and learn I guess.
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