I have been trying to find a platform to share my grief with people who might understand.
So I came to join this community and started reading everyone’s posts.
Although I could sympathise with many difficult journeys, caring for terminally ill partners, before dealing with the loneliness of evenings, the feeling of being lost, when no amount of ‘preparation’ is enough to ready you for the end...
I think I am yet to read the testimony of fellow widows with young kids. My husband passed away from bowel cancer a few weeks ago at the age of 30, after almost 4 years battling. We have two boys aged 4 & 6.
They are and always will be my priority but I am not sure how to help them the best way possible while dealing with my own feelings... I live in the most supportive community in a little country town (which I was due to move away from the week after my husband passed away but I have put this on hold for this very reason...) but no one can quite understand what I am going through.
I am not sure what I am after with this post. Maybe I just needed to share...
Has anyone gone through this while supporting young children?
At first, it would be really hard as we tend to focus on our own emotions and ignore the feelings of our children. However, what we need to do is to be with our children's emotions as they are the ones prone to trauma. We don't have a choice but to be strong for them.
Tough as it may be and you have to face it but, hey, slow down. Grief is a process you have to go through. Your kids may not understand for now but, let them be surrounded by adults who love them.
I completely understand how you feel. I lost my wife in December from breast cancer. She was was 34 at the time and our kids are 4 and 6.
Although I have had some great support from family and friends I find it really hard to find anyone who can have any sense of the feelings and challenges.
Life, unfortunately, means there has to be death. It is inevitable, and as much as we hate losing those special people from our lives we have to come to terms with it.
I'm at the start of a similar journey with my husband recently diagnosed with late-stage bowel cancer and caring for two kids. I don't have the experience out the other end yet. But I wanted to say hi and good luck.
I've found the journey so far very difficult. Especially navigating care for my husband, dealing with my own feelings, while looking after and supporting my children through this. I'm starting to learn that there is no right way, it's just muddling through one step at a time.
I've also been looking out for people in similar situations, wondering how on earth people get through it.
My hat off to you for getting through the last few years. You've already done more than I could have imagined a few months ago.
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