I'm struggling so much at the moment. I have heard that once you know the details and treatment starts it does get easier. The problem is I can't get myself to the point of being positive. I am a real problem for my family and they are at their wits end.
I know how you feel. I havent even been diagnosed yet and I am already depressed. I sure do hope it gets better. I had a major blue with my fiance this morning. I told her I wanted to spend a couple of hours together alone before my biopsy this week. She said she couldnt because she handles things by keeping busy. That really hurt me so deeply and i tried to explain it to her but it didnt work out well. I went and saw the surgical team yesterday but the guy was useless. He wasnt even sure whether they were going to do an excision biopsy or just take a sample. I told him about my back pain but he wouldnt give me anything. Some days i just feel like giving up and wish it would all be over. When you say you are a real problem for your family i am so with you on that. From the outside its easier for them to be positive. They can say it will be alright, dont worry. But you know its not going to be alright and you expend so much energy on worrying its not funny. I have told several people I am afraid of dying and they almost laugh at me and say dont be stupid youre not going to die. I dont think anyone else understands this fully unless they are facing it themselves.
I am seeing the GP this arvo and he is terrific. He has stressed that everything you (and I) are going through is very normal and you do work your way through it. It sounds a bit pat but it has been the common message I have been getting. Medication might be a good option here. My wife went through it with her mother many years ago and she said that it was a roller coaster ride. At least my specialist and another GP has reinforced the developments in treatments especially in recent times. It is the waiting that is the hardest part but once a plan of attack is set up, hopefully things get better. In your case, it sounds like you might be jumping too many steps ahead. Worry about what you know first and foremost. As far as your fiancé goes, she has to face up to her own fears as well. Over time, she and you will hopefully be more in sync with how these types of situations are handled. Have you tried ringing the counselling service? I talked to them yesterday and they were very good. They are all oncology nurses who are experienced in what you are talking about. The number is 13 11 20. Good luck with it all.
I agree with most of the previous comments.
Try the Cancer Council .
With me it comes and goes but is less and less as time goes on.
Many seem to believe in being positive .I just try to be realistic and to not worry about the future. I usually get down because of the present whereas many worry about the future . I wasn't depressed on diagnosis, awaiting surgery but scared ,anxious and insecure. It was thw waiting that was hard but it got better .I felt then that something was being done.
All the best
I truly understand how you feel..... and it gets easier.
Try not to think about it as something which is going to kill you but take it as another experience after which you will be different person but you'll have to go on with your life the best you can.
Just don't think negative and don't pity yourself as much, make your mind busy with anything, make plans, study whatever you like, sit on the sun and listen to the music or anything..... just keep busy....
Wish you all the best.
We each deal with depression differently I was told by a doctor friend that we ALL are going to die,So stressing about when, does you no good ,its going to happen to everyone, some sooner than later.what you can control is how you react to this information, and enjoy the good moments in life,because life is still good even when we are suffering from this illness called cancer, good luck on this journey,
Hi there, thanks for the reply. I feel a little more at peace this morning. Yesterday was the worst day ever since I was told I probably have it. I fought with the fiance, she didnt want to talk to me then we ended up spending most of the afternoon together anyway. Funny how things have a way of working out. Me and her and her kids went and looked at houses. I found a really nice one later on in the price range we want. Its in exactly the area she wants to live, its double storey, is in a court and has a swimming pool as well. I dont know why i am looking at houses right now with all of whats going on. I guess when you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I am thinking of starting a cancer support group though Im not sure how I would go about doing it.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.