Hi wren,
Let me start off with wishing you love, light and peace on your journey.
As Salior mentioned, there is often this idea that you have to be strong and positive then you'll be fine. Almost like if you think about any alternative other then that you'll make it come true. So we outwardly appear strong, smile, but really we can be eating up inside by the what if it doesn't work? what happens if this is it?
I've found that being strong is easy, admitting fear can be hard. facing mortality even harder. But I'm finding (and still working on it) that by coming to a realisation that we're all here for a short time, be it months, years or decades, all that really matters is now. And now what I value is what is important to me, rather than the objects that seemed so important before. I guess that is the blessing of cancer, it makes us revaluate what is important in our life.
With chemo, I would recommend going into it from a view of loving life and wanting to live, rather than fear of death. In a recent study (the scientist in me comes out 🙂 ), by Colagiuri, B in 2008 found that those who expect the worst outcomes with chemo have the highest levels of nausea. While those who expected a better outcome had lower levels of nausea and a better quality of life.
I can also highly recommend a "Quest for Life" program as a place to find yourself, learn some simple tools for your health and wellbeing as well as being surrounded by the most beautiful people.
If your looking for a support group, then I'd also recommend that the people who make it up are more important then what type of cancer they have. The SAN hospital has some very good groups (if you're in sydney).
I hope some of this was helpful.
Peace be with you,
U can
