A month ago I was diagnosed with primary breast cancer. They couldn't save my breast and I had a mastectomy a week later. I have had my scans and am seeing the medical oncologist tomorrow to discuss chemotherapy and hormone treatment.
Apart from the initial shock, horror etc., I have been very positive and coped well. Today I am having my first down that I am having trouble pulling myself out of. I am starting to dread chemotherapy, dread losing my hair and dreading the fatigue that I may encounter, not to mention any other nice little side effects that might come along for the ride. I have been looking forward to summer and the long days and the holiday season and now I feel so cheated out of them. I can't wait for winter when the worst will be over (I hope).
I know I shouldn't complain. My prognosis is excellent. I only showed signs of cancer in one lymph node and considering the size of the lump this is excellent news. My cancer is hormone receptor positive, so excellent news again. It's just all starting to get a little on top of me.
Is there anyone else out there (silly question I know) who can put my mind at ease about the lymph node part of the operation. The tightness of my scar and the numbness of my chest is starting to bring me down. I have been told that the numbness won't go away, please tell me this tight feeling will. Will I ever feel comfortable again with touching myself and not feeling sick?
I think really I'm just feeling so bad today because I am really concerned about the results of my scan and starting chemotherapy. It's all so scary.
I find i go through stages of being ok and determined about things and then i hit a bit of a brick wall. I try and limit my down town as in put a time limit on it and when it comes to the end of that time if i am not ready i pretty much kick myself up the proverbial and get on with it.
I have just finished chemo and i was suprised at how well i tolerated it. One time i did get a bit sick from it and just mentioned it to the doctor and they changed the antesemetics and it was all good for the next one.
Regardless of prognosis i dont think being diagnosed with cancer is easy on anyone. 🙂 Its a tough gig to travel at times and yet at other times i find rewarding, bit like life i guess!
Hang in there re having chemo, just remember you dont actually know what you will be facing yet and can deal with if and when it happens.
hugssss to you.
I have been following the 'don't stress about chemo, it's different for everyone' theory since being diagnosed. It's just that as it gets closer it's getting more real. My appointment with the oncologist is tomorrow and I am starting to stress about my scan results. Up until now I haven't felt like a cancer patient, just someone who has had an operation. I suppose after tomorrow the reality will be more obvious. I will have a date. The sooner I start though, the sooner I finish, so it's not all bad.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.