Ok so after a number of appts, scans and tests I now know what I have and have a treatment plan. The sarcoma in my thigh is leiomyosarcoma. For this they are going to hit me with 3 days of chemo and then ten days of radiation with two hits of radiation a day (a six hour break between the two hits). After a six week break they will then go in and cut out the lump and remove my femoral nerve...Have freaked out a bit as my lump has increased to about 7cms and when I google the prognois for leiomyosarcoma it's not that great. The pet scan also picked up an 8mm mass in my pancreas as well. The Doctors are looking at this and are referring this to another Doctor. At this stage the opinion is the lump is to small for a bio and hasn't grown over the months - apparently it showed up on other earlier scans but was missed - so they may just go in and cut it out then do the pathology on it
I lost my hubby to cancer last year and we have kids so I am all over the shop emotionally.
I have though just finalised my will and ensured if I am gone within 5 years ( which may well happen ) the kids are 100% protected and no-one can rip them off. I created a watertight trust which ensure adequate access for costs of raising the kids and that's it. The Trustees even need to provide quarterly reports to the kids on what transactions have occurred. To prep the kids for all of this I have increased pocket money and pushed some expenses back to them to pay for. Each week they now sit down and allocate money for: all their hair products, underwear, deodorant, hair cuts etc. have gone right back to basics with this with them putting the money they budget for each into envelopes so it's a physical action they do each week. Once they get to 14 they can transition to back accounts.
You know it's funny... I am terrified but not for myself it's for my kids. I am just worried about how this will affect them and minimising any effects. People don't seem to understand this and think that I am worried about my treatment. They don't seem to get that I would rather they offer to help more with the kids then offer to take me to the appts etc. I can get myself there, I would rather have them offer to take the kids out for the day ................. maybe it's a mother thing.
Hey, it's not just a mother thing.
There are parents out there who neglect, even hurt their kids. (I never understood this mindset, I can't relate, I'd walk through fire for my children).
But I think the norm, when you become a parent is to put the welfare of your children in front of yourself. As a father confronted with cancer, the end-of-life aspect of it bothers me horribly, but it is not for myself. It bothers me because of the impact my death would have on my three young children.
I cannot abide this, so I will fight to my last breath. I won't submit on any level. Every day I'm here, I'll love them and do my best to be a good dad, no matter how sick I am. I'll be dragged from this world kicking and screaming.
I hope you can fight hard too, I wish you the best for your fight with cancer, and I hope your kids don't have to face the loss of another parent anytime soon.
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