New Contributor


Hi I am Belle41 and last year I had sarcoma cancer of my left leg.  After the radiaton and massive surgery in July  I finally in September returned to work and on the first day i was called to rush down to my Dads place to find him dead on his bed. Also during this time I had to say goodbye to my wonderful dog of 15yrs so 2018 was a terrible year for me.  After all of this my life changed dramatically but my husband thinks that the surgery is over, the dog is gone and you have buried your Dad get on with life and put it in the past.  I cant do that I live with this every day and if the pain in the leg and swelling isnt enough I see my Dad all the time in my memory dead on his bed.  This has affected our marital relationship a lot and I am not sure that I will ever be the person I was before 2018 and cancer.  How can I get my husband to understand how hard this is, going to the specialist every 3 months to go thru all the CT scans and MRI'S to make sure the cancer hasnt returned.

I would appreciate someones point of view on this as I am starting to feel that I am the wrong person and should get over it but I cant.





Super Contributor

Re: RELATIONSHIPS after Cancer

You sure had a shocker of a year being diagnosed with cancer ,surgery and radiation later is in itself very traumatic and now having the Ct checks regularly,means you can be living with the thoughts of what if it returns which can be very unsettling,I found when I was in that situation to take it one day at a time Sometimes professional help can be of benefit to someone with these thoughts have you had a chat to your GP I did,I think it wouldn’t be normal not to have these doubts
I can’t imagine finding a parent of mine deceased a very traumatic event and losing your dog after so many years,they become members of our family,no one can say it’s time to get over it we all grieve differently,and for lengths of time,all this happening after what you have been through would be extremely difficult.

If you do seek professional advice maybe ask your husband to accompany you ,he may gain a better insight,you may not think so but hopefully things and your thoughts will improve,You have been through so much and are still functioning,don’t be hard on yourself it takes time as much as you need.

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