Hi Margro, I have just read your post, your suppose to vent, your telling us how you really feel, let it out, don't hold back. Your not alone with these thoughts and feelings. That's what this web site is for, to help and give support to others, from people who have already been there. I know you have read my post. I'm a six year survivor of Merkel Cell Carcinoma, my husband was diagnosed 3 yrs later with Bladder Cancer muscle invasive, six in our family have been hit with cancer, my brother only survived 12 week's. My husband and I ask. Why have we survived?, and not the other four family members. I know how your feeling, one minute you feel on top of the world, then with no warning, a dark cloud passes over you, you start feel down and think the worst. When you've been diagnosed with cancer, life is never the same again. You look at life differently, things that were important to you aren't anymore. There's a very old song I remember my mother singing, and it goes something like this. "Just pick yourself up again, dust yourself off and smile, smile, smile". You've gone three years, that's a great, my husband has gone three years too. So let's support the two of you to the 5 year finishing line. Do what you did in the city to surf. Your a survivor. Best wishes, Merkel
