I'm posting something for the first time. I've read through some of the survivor threads just now and I enjoyed the sense of recognition I felt on reading those perspectives. I too get silently huffy about people thinking it's all gone away now, people thinking I've been brave, people thinking (including a lot of survivors) that it's a fight to be won.
My most vivid memory of my early days of diagnosis with multiple myeloma is standing in my hospital room (gown, drip bag, nothing else - is there anything else in life at that stage?) thinking to myself "Holy shit, what the hell just happened to my life?" And the very next thought was "OK, I start now learning to live with this".
And that's what I've done for more than two years now. At no stage did I decide to 'beat cancer', 'fight the good fight', 'win (or lose) my battle with cancer'. I cannot relate to any of that language at all.
I still have the vivid memory of deciding to live with a medical condition. I'm very proud of that decision. More and more so as time goes on.
When I was told I was in remission I was pleased, of course, but mainly because I knew it would free me from being the recipient of everyone else's solution. And I was very sick of that.
For me, though, it sounds strange, I know, but being told I was in remission didn't make much difference at all. I was already well down the track of 'living with cancer' and being told I was in remission seemed irrelevant.
Isn't life strange!
Hi again Harker,
You write with a refreshing honesty and I enjoy reading your thoughts about 'living with it' and 'remission' - And I have to agree with the annoyance of people who say things like 'you seem to be fighting it well...' etc. I honestly don't think I made a concious decision to 'fight' but just kept waking up in dreary mornings, eating my cornflakes, blah blah...you just get on with it, don't you? I did.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.