"What made it worse for me was hearing all those other cancer stories about people having wonderful support from their families and how much it helped them. Salt into the wound!"
Ha ha, that's funny Matsy - it's soooo true!! and, if I don't laugh, I'll cry...
I felt awfully trapped with these intense and new feelings as well; they were not very comfortable feelings. I felt that if this kind of resentment, envy, or whatever, was uttered, I'd either get slammed by your inner critic, or judged by others outside who make some kind of assessment about why you have the illness in the first place...
To give and example, I hated seeing all the publicity about (our dear) Kylie suffering from cancer, and how brave she was.... It was such an (insulting) contrast to my own reality, and others that I knew who were out there, whereby we couldn't make it to the shop to get basic foods, or afford a wig, let alone fly to the Bahamas for our recovery, or have the whole world sending good wishes, support and flowers!!
Boo hoo, don't think I ever got flowers....
.......If I could've zipped off to some luxurious paradise, I would surely have been so very brave too!! 😉
I felt trapped as any attempt to express these feelings to 'normal' people just would've come out as unsympathetic to another persons situation, or worse.
I think that our experience unveiled a new perspective on life so very suddenly, and without any graduation to give us time to adjust, resulting in a huge shock. The emotions that follow in response, are very overwhelming and confusing to deal with. And, unfortunately, it's all in one's own head only! Sadly, cannot share or compare notes with others.... only adding to the confusion and isolation 😞
Yes, that's why well done to us for getting on to this forum.
Sorry, I'm a bit off-topic now too......
