This is an excerpt from an article on weekly world news and I hope it makes you laugh as much as I did.
"Aliens often erase the memories of people they abduct. But you can still determine if you’ve been taken aboard a starship or examined by extraterrestrials with tips from two of the world’s leading experts.
All you have to do is check for the telltale signs of alien abduction, including memory loss, sudden illness, unusual dreams, missing hair, bruises or strange marks on your body."
Hmmm so far I tick all these boxes....
"According to Dr. Steiger, the warning signs of alien abductions are:
1. The mysterious onset of illness, including insomnia, loss of appetite, nausea, headaches, a rash or fatigue.
2. The nagging sensation of having “lost” a period of time out of your life.
3. Complete memory loss.
4. The mysterious appearance of scars, bruises, puncture marks, burns or missing hair, suggestive of medical examination by aliens.
5. Recurring dreams. Some common images include extraterrestrial worlds or landscapes, and crystal cities.
6. Recurring daytime images. Common ones are aliens, UFOs or extraterrestrial scenes.
If you have experience two or more of these symptoms, Dr. Steiger advises you to look in your phone book and contact the UFO organization nearest you."
Unfortunately I can explain the apperance of scars , bruises etc as listed in point 4 but it does make me wonder...hmmmm.... hahaha