Becoming vulnerable when going out

[Mick52]

Hi my name is Mick . I am getting immunotherapy for my stage 4 Melanoma lesion and now have had 7 monthly treats . So far the tumour is reducing !! As the treatment has been progressing i have found i am getting more and more fatigued . it is effecting my mental health and am finding going out into the community very daunting . 

I am 52 and live on my own with my Dog ,fish and Budgies . i have things in my unit that i like doing between lie downs .my sons have flown the coup and i am finding things a little difficult during the treatment on my own . i have the Mater cancer care team helping me but i am reluctant to reach out sometimes.

My GP has helped me with some depression medication but somedays its just tough. i went shopping at coles and feel like im judged as i feel very week and feel like im getting kicked while im down . one thing im certain of though my wonderful little rescue Dog is waiting when i get home . Gotta think of the positives with the negatives i suppose. 

thjis is my first post on here . Do others feel thge same WAY ? 

Mick from Brisbane

[LindaG]

Hi Mick, I’m glad the tumour is shrinking. That’s good news for you. Yes the fatigue from treatment is hard. Is there someone you can ask to do your shopping for you? Most people just want to help when you are in need. Don’t be afraid to ask!   Praise God for the unconditional love of pets!! How many more treatments to go? 🙏💕 Linda G 

[Mick52]

Spoiler

Hi Linda . I have 3 more treatments then a scan mid February. The scan will determine more or if any treatments . Yes my friend Sarah shops for my early after my treatments . She is great I’ve known her for over 25 years and now her and her husband lived in the next suburb . We were in youth group together in NSW. 
. I choose quiet times to shop when I really need to go to the shop.
Its tough and I am fighting one day at a time . Sometimes an hour at a time . I live upstairs in my unit and my dog is my treadmill lol

[LindaG]

So glad there is a friend helping you. My goal after chemo was to go shopping by myself.  It took a while for my energy to build up but now I am shopping without my husband! Yay!  Let’s hope that you have a positive result from your scan in February. 💕 Linda G 

[Mick52]

Gday Linda . Great to see you have support with your husband. Also going to do the shopping when you feel well and comfortable is great I reckon. I like walking my dog with headphones twice a day . Great you are on the other side of your treatment. All the best to you and your family!! Mick

[Tony1943]

Hi Mick
Try not to be so depressed. You do not know how lucky you are to have your rescue dog, fish and Budgies . Your feelings of being judged and being kicked while your down are nothing more than that, just feelings. Shame to hear about your sons flying the coup. Maybe they just feel awkward and do not know what to say to make you feel better.

Like you I live alone, but all I have are the wild birds outdoors to feed. Also like you the medication I am on makes me feel very fatigued. In fact the last time I went shopping at the supermarket I had to sit down and rest for a while.

Unlike you I have incurable advanced prostate cancer that has already spread to my spine and other parts of my body. I am 79 years old and determined not to let it get me down. I aim to enjoy every minute of what's left of my life when the weather gets warmer.

How I wish I was fit enough to have a dog and walk it like you.

[Mick52]

Hi Tony 

Thanks so much for your encouraging words . You are a nice person. Thankyou. As the treatment has gone in and I have my 9th monthly treatment next Tuesday the 1st I’m reaching out for help a lot more since my first letter. It’s a tough road but I’m staying a Little more positive and doing a lot more self care at home and with a good councillor. Also doing zoom meetings at home with supportive people     has helped ! 
I know get click and collect groceries and pick them up in the boot of my car here in Brisbane. I also limit time in the public with the virus as strong as it is . I have my 3 vaccines but my immune system is suppressed so I like to stay home with my animals and do things around my unit . I am a butcher of 30 years and do home butchering and lots of cooking and listening to music. I live on the 3rd level of my complex and I walk missy twice a day . I have her looked after the week after my treatment. Im so glad I got on this chat a while ago and got some support.  Things are a lot more positive today . My life now  depends on my 3 monthly scans as my oncologist said that Melanoma is a bastard was her words a couple of visits ago . I too like to live one day at a time and reckon less is more these days . I would like to hear from you more often if you like Tony ! 
Mick . Dutton Park. Brisbane 

[Tony1943]

Hi again Mick
I am more than happy to stay in touch with you if you wish, either here on the forum or by email. You say you have been receiving treatment for 9 months. I may have only been on treatment for a couple of months but I do know about the side effects of the drugs they use that make you feel fatigued and weak.
I have a close friend living in Brisbane who is insisting on coming here to the UK to see me. I would sooner he didn't because after my CT scan I will be going on an even stronger medication which will have more of an effect on my immune system. If he does come he will have to do the same as my son and see me outdoors only. My son brings his 2 dogs over occasionally, one of which was my dog before I became ill. I do not suffer from depression but if I did having a dog would be all I need to cheer me up. The birds I feed help and 2 of the wood pigeons even tap on my front door if I have not put any food out for them.

You can always find an interest or hobby to help overcome depression.

Anyway, tell me more about your Melanoma lesion and this immunotherapy that you are on. How does it effect you and is it curable.
Tony

[Michael65]

Hey Mick this is Michael, you can call me Mick. I just read your post  and want you to know that you are not alone. I've just connected to this group and it's the first time I've reached out ,outside my family. I will contact you again tomorrow asit is late ,you are probably asleep and I am feeling tired.