G'day Deb's, that was a double wammie to have your mother die, I can understand how you must be feeling. 6 months ago my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer as well, sue he's still alive but with it being terminal, he's all but dead, but the sad thing is I am watching him go through what I have been through, and to see the father I use to know disappear is dreadful, it is like the father I knew is dead already.
My poor mother is beside herself, watching us both must be dreadful for her. Dad was always this larger then life character, always greeted everyone with a big smile, a loud, and firm G'day and if the asked how are you, he would always answer with a "any better and it would take two to hold me down' or some thing similar.
How is your treatment going ? I am not having anymore as the last round didn't do anything but make me sick like yourself, and my father is doing the same. He see's no point and would rather spend what time he has left being as well as possible, and not sick from treatment.
My own condition is deteriorating much quicker now, with tumor excreting fluid from my ear, which Dr's weren't expecting. It seems the tumor has not only taken away my hearing on that side but also consumed the ear canal as well as well as affecting my cognitive thinking, with verbal replies making no sense to the conversation at times, which is really hard to come to terms with and quite embarrassing, because post verbalization I know what I have said but don't understand why I have said it. And that's a conversation killer. So between that and pain levels going through the roof for the past fortnight I know its starting to cause major damage internally, other symptoms include minor body tremors' / fits while falling asleep (twilight zone).
Anyway, that's all that's going on here, hope this finds you well. Hugs Stu