Oh... hi Nigel,
that's sad news, again, I'm sorry for you. Really. Because we've all been through it around here we feel it deeply because we know what it's like. It's the emotional stuff that's really hard. The other stuff is still really hard too.
I went through a horrible time, 6 months of Chemo, lost my hair (female), and lost friends too. I didn't grow up with a lot of close friends though having moved a lot in my youth. I have heard a lot though, of how close friends can be very supportive.
It struck me at this time how people judge women by their looks. I was abused in the street at that time. People thought I was a punk or a lesbian. So.. this insight into society and people was the biggest shock, and happened way too young for my development and left me scarred.
Additionally, I was living out of home so had little family support. I hope that you have at least that sorted 😉 Sounding like you do.
I suppose what did come out of it was a deep understanding of myself - I only had me. And, after treatment I found a new certainty about my life and a new gusto for achieving my dreams. I became relentless and unstoppable and have achieved much since that time. It meant a return to study and I followed my passion for photography. I also read a lot at that time, deciding I wanted to learn about a lot of things - philosophy, art and sociology. I wanted to know why I got it too, so there was a lot of self-enquiry. So, I guess, if that didn't happen I would've probably had a mediocre life, perhaps only 1/2 lived?
As far as treatment goes I'm not sure what to tell you because it differs depending on what type you have. Also, treatment since my time (so I've heard) has improved in that it's not as toxic.
From what I've learned since, and I have again made a return to studying as mature age in health/medicine, attention to your immune system at this time is important. Crucial in fact. You want to do what you can to support your immune system. If you can afford it, see a naturopath for this support would be my advice. Take time of work too. Just to read, chill and sort it out. you owe that to yourself (IMO).
I know, it's a hard place hey. You feel embarrassed like you're the weakest link or something and, thing is, you're so fragile at the moment that you can't bear the idea that anyone might have a less than supportive response, so you keep it hidden. But, at the same time you desperately want to tell people. In my case it was like that anyhow. And that's all the weird emotional/head stuff that's hard to deal with. The foundations that our society are built on are "funny" to say the least is what I found 😉 Hang on to your family, keep them close. Take all the support you can get. Talk therapy is good too - get counselling/therapy or find a support group of similar age.
Apologies, I don't know about your specific case so I cannot be specific. can share a bit about my journey and by doing so I hope I can fill some gaps. Others here too will add their bits and it will help to guide you along the path.
Sarah.
