October 2014
Hi Nigel,
I'm sorry to hear you're facing these terrible things at a time that should be carefree. I wish you all the best for your treatment.
I don't use this website very often, as it isn't very active and there aren't a lot of younger people on here. I've found the Warwick Foundation to be a great resource for discussing cancer issues and having support from other 18-40 year olds. They have a Facebook closed group which gives faster replies for discussion topics. You might find it useful to utilise both resources. It was a fellow user of this page that put me on to them.
http://twcf.org.au
Kind thoughts,
Catherine
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December 2013
Hi Mel,
Thanks for reaching out, my heart goes out to you and your husband too. It must be difficult to hold together as a mum and wife at such a tough time. How are your kids coping?
Thanks for the recommendation of silver chain, I hadn't heard of them. I don't consider my cancer to be life threatening yet, but I guess effectively it is.
All the best Mel, please feel free to make contact with me if you want to talk.
Kind regards,
Catherine
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December 2013
Thanks for your kind and supportive words Emily, I appreciate it!
I have looked into the Warwick Foundation and registered with them. Thanks for putting me on to this resource!
Kind regards,
Catherine
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December 2013
Thinking of you Clare on the sudden loss of your dad,
It is totally normal to feel so many emotions, and for your husband to cop the brunt of it. It sounds like it all happened far too quickly for you to have time with your dad. I don't know what to say, but perhaps the Cancer Council helpline might be helpful for you. I just wanted to send you kind words at a tough time.
Sending hugs your way,
Catherine
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December 2013
While I can take sick leave from my part time job during my chemo week, there's never 'sick leave' from my full time job as mother of 3 (12, 7 and 4).
Having a nap on the couch is near impossible as I have to keep my ear out for any potential trouble, and I'm frequently interrupted by demands.
My kids don't really understand that coughing or sneezing on me could send me to hospital, no matter how many times I try to explain white blood cells and germs.
I'm absolutely exhausted, physically and emotionally, but life goes on. School and kinder runs, athletics, food shopping, housework, more housework, going to the park, homework help, cooking, bath time, bedtime battles etc etc etc. I force myself to continue to be the same mum I used to be, while trying to explain that I am sick and tired (hoping that they will have some understanding that I need a break, to no avail).
A hug and kiss, letters and pictures, and being told "I love you, you're the best mum" make it all worthwhile, but on the whole parenting is a job with far more give than take. It doesn't help that I work in a caring profession, it's hard to give and care constantly when my emotional tank feels like it's on empty.
I feel like the last 5 months since diagnosis has aged me 10 years, I feel isolated as this is not a normal life event to struggle with as a 34 year old mum. Yes, there are people out there going through similar (please feel free to reach out if you can relate), but most of the cancer patients I have crossed paths with are older and have adult children. My own mum has also had Lymphoma, which does help in terms of having someone close who understands, but she was 56 at diagnosis and only had my dad to demand attention from her.
At first I had to worry about the effect of my diagnosis and illness on my kids and husband. The kids all showed their own symptoms of anxiety at times. This has been tough, as not only do I have my own emotional burden to bear, but also the instincts of the concerned and caring mother as well. Over time it appears that my illness is 'old news' and life has resembled some sense of normailty for them (even if I am suffering more side effects with each cycle of chemo).
Just once I'd like to have someone look after me. For me to be able to actually rest and heal. To be honest I'd like a holiday, without kids, on a tropical beach... For now I'll have to settle for the occasional massage instead. Sigh.
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December 2013
Thanks, and same to you. We hope to have a good Christmas and hope that 2014 brings much better luck than 2013!
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December 2013
How true, I guess every cloud has it's silver lining and things could've been worse if you hadn't been getting a full check up!
I have a son and 2 daughters. My son turns 12 on Friday, one daughter is 7 next month and my other daughter is 4. After diagnosis, I came home and Googled "How do you tell children you have cancer?" I then sat them down and explained what Lymphoma was, about good and bad cells and reassured them that it's not their fault and they can't catch it. I then asked if they had any questions, and one asked "Can I have ice cream?" Clearly not a distressing conversation then. I've since had discussions about reduced immunity, likening white blood cells to 'Pac Men' and saying they eat germs, but I have less in my body so I get sick more easily.
My son has coped remarkably well despite having depression in the past. We get along well and talk openly. I've told him that he can contact Canteen if he wants to. Miss 6 has been the most anxious, and has unrelated fears (that the dog is going to die, that slugs are going to slither into her bedroom, etc). She has seen a social worker at school and is getting better. Miss 4 has just been extra clingy and affectionate, but she was always a Mummy's girl.
My husband has been affected, but does the typical bloke thing and doesn't want to talk to anyone about it. His way of helping is to sit with me during chemo and help with the housework and kids. I completely appreciate this, but sometimes I just want to have him listen and give me a hug..
It's a lot for a young family to deal with, and it's only natural that as mum we care about how our loved ones are coping.
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December 2013
Hi petalinperth,
I understand the sentiment about feeling impatient with your body not functioning as it should, I spend the 4 days after chemo feeling so frustrated that my body is incompetent. I'm usually such a busy person and I can't stand being fatigued and unable to get out of the house or even able to do housework.
I agree with the happy nature and good humour. I'm like that too, cracking jokes and trying to keep things upbeat.
Thanks for your positive words 🙂
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December 2013
Hi AMCK, welcome.
I hope you and your wife are coping ok in what sounds like a really awful time. Is your son aware of what's happening? My 6 year old daughter (the middle child of my 3) has experienced the most anxiety of my kids since I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in July. We got on to a school social worker and she has worked with her every now and then. It is tough to undergo treatments and Chemo with young kids at home as life doesn't go on hold for them.
All the best for Radiation and surgery,
Catherine
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