Lange
Just a suggestion if you have not already ,speak to your GP he may be able to help and or organize someone to speak to about how you feel,
I was told awhile ago by a wise person that we all are going to die at some stage, some sooner some later and that I just may fall into the sooner category once I got my head around that I was ok with how I accepted my life and I was no longer to stressed.I enjoy my life and what I can do, not focusing on what I can't do, or what may happen.That's what helps me.
kj