Bowel cancer and chemo at home. I'm a carer

[Me3]

hi all.. I'm new here..and I'm a carer and mother looking for advice and I'm very young 23 but am a qualified carer by training and experience for 4 years.. sadly my mother in law was diagnosed with Stage 3 Bowel cancer she is in her mid 40s.. she had surgery 3 months ago and removed her tumor and half her bowel. It was such a shock as it all came on so fast.. but after 4 weeks post surgery she has been doing treatment every 2 weeks for 48 hours at home after her Infusion treatment for 5 hours in the hospital.. it's a sad situation and I can't imagine what she's going through mentally, emotionally  and physically. But she has been dependent on us before the cancer and is currently depending on us now with the diagnosis financially and for emotionally. We have supported her then and still will now.. but recently we got advised by the paediatricians as I have two toddlers under 3 and a newborn baby and breastfeeding that it is not best to have her staying with us anymore whilst having treatment and I should halt all care as in cleaning after her and in the bathroom where bodily fluids are present.. as she hasn't been up to scratch with her precautions around the house or my children while having treatment at home and it's become a endangerment with the exposure. I've been cleaning and caring for her needs in everyway and I've become kind of her carer even though it's not any different as before cancer just more cleaning and making sure everything is well in the house and safe environment for her and my kids.. I'm just asking as advice what I should do? How I should address this ? What is your experience with family and being around children whilst having treatment at home? I'm at a loss. I don't want to be rude and kick her out somewhere else especially during this time in her life, but I also can't risk any longterm acute exposure to my children or my husband and myself if she can't also keep her safety precautions main priority, we can support her continually if she was to leave but not 24/7 in the house whilst having treatment. Please help. 

[Wegotthis]

Me3

First of all great job talking care of your mother Inlaw. My wife was amazing when my mom came home to finish out her final day's. 

I definitely love her more for doing it.

I understand your concern about having her around your children. We were advised because of my chemo treatments to double flush after I use the bathroom. My wife acts like my bathroom is a death chamber. From my research and doctors advice the first 2 days we should be careful. 

Do you have any other family that could take care of her that is close by? Sounds like you are stuck in a ruff situation. But in the end you have to put your children first. Im sure your mom will understand that you have to make other arrangements. 

The only reason why my wife and I haven't packed up and left the state we live in is because my mother Inlaw doesn't want to leave with us. We just learned that she is having health issues 😓 .

I would research and print out as much information you can find about the risks to your family. Make sure you and your husband have talked it over and support the discussion that you come up with. Maybe have a nurse or doctor talk to her. 

My heart hurts for you and your family.