Cancer and Long Distance Relationship

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Cancer and Long Distance Relationship

Me and my boyfriend met online two years ago.I  am from the Philippines and he is from the United States. We just knew we are meant to be, just a few months after we met, he decided that he will fly to my country and stay for good  but the pandemic happened, so we said, no big deal, we'll just wait for it to pass. We were so happy though we've never held each other and everyday our love just grew stronger. Then just two months ago, he started having jaw pains, then it escalated and became a stabbing pain to his right temple, he went to different dentists and doctors but nothing helped. Then he was asked to have a CT  scan, we found out he has 4 small lesions on the brain. He was ordered to have a whole body scan after, that's when we learned he has lung cancer that spread to his brain. He had a biopsy that went wrong and caused his lung to collapse, he was confined to a hospital  that seemed to make him worse. He had to have a chest tube inserted in his lung, then he needs to have his lung injected with his own blood in order to heal, he began having nose bleeds after he was put on oxygen, his face and feet swell because of the steroids. He is home now but his legs hurt and finds it hard to walk, he is also upset, depressed, sad and scared all at the same time. His doctor is optimistic with the treatment, he said that he has a slow growing cancer and that he will start with targeted radiation treatment for his brain lesions on sept 22, 2021. 


Because of his diagnosis, his plans to live in my country is no longer possible at least for the moment and due to the global situation and my country's tight restrictions, I cant even go and visit him. He is going through so much and I am saddened by the fact that he is facing it without his partner. Some people said I should bail and that he is only an online boyfriend so it is easy to leave, it is not and I am not even thinking of leaving him, we are both holding on even our chances of being together soon is slim and I am saddened by the fact that people are underestimating a long distance relationship, we only the lack physical aspect but our feeling are just the same as other couples, if anything the pain is more, I want to help him, I want to care for him but I can't. We need each other but because we met online, our governments do not even recognize us a couple. I am scared that he'll deteriorate even before I get to him. I am scared I'd lose him. I could see and feel how cancer changed him, he always sound so upset or sad, we could no longer talk about anything else but the disease, what used to be  fluid conversations are now full of dead airs, sighing and heaving. 


His family has been wonderful through all this, I promised them I'll try to make it there sooner, although I don't know how to make faster.  



Frequent Contributor

Re: Cancer and Long Distance Relationship

I can relate to your love story. 

I meet my wife over 20 years ago in a chat room. I feel in love with her before I even met her. Unfortunately I didn't want to be in love with her and tried many times to push her away. Every time I did i got a empty feeling. 

Long story short we have been married for almost 12 years. 

I respect you for standing by your boyfriend side.  I'm sure many people don't understand why you do. 

I get it!!!

Stay strong.  Hopefully this nightmare will end up being a beautiful dream.

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