Partner can’t cope with cancer

[battler45]

Hi first timer.  I have recently been diagnosed with cancer after being very well all my life.  After being married for 30 years  I thought that my relationship with my husband would be able to cope with this news but no.   My husband hasn’t able to show me support or comfort I needed as he hasn’t been able to handle his own feelings.  Has anybody experience this?  I look at my relationship differently after feeling disappointed and anger that I had to support him instead of him supporting me.  I wonder if this common problem and something you don’t expect when diagnosed with cancer.  Any advise thanks.

[battler45]

Hi I have neuroendocrine in my small intestine and in my kidney.  I agree my partner is scared but i am the one dealing with doctors, scan, treatment and recovery.  I think if someone looked in a window and saw us they think he has the cancer and not me as  I cannot say one word without him getting very emotional and not able to continue speaking.  I have no one to lean on or talk to.  Luckily I have a strong character and will get thru this alone but it would be nice to have the support.

[Katekat]

Hello @battler45 and welcome to our community!

Sorry to hear you're husband is having difficulty dealing with your cancer. How have you been going though? Is your treatment etc going well?

May I suggest you give 13 11 20 a call and enquire about whether counselling would be available to you at all?

I'm also sending you a quick email with some information about our telephone support group for those caring for someone with cancer, it might be of assistance or interest to your husband ❤️

-Kate

Cancer Council Online Community Manager