Hi there.I hate to say that I know how you feel as I don't think anyone can say that. I am on a horrible journey with my 83yr old dad who has oesophageus cancer and who is rapidly going downhill and it makes it worse for me as he lives so far away. We are picking him up in 2 weeks to come and stay with me but his friends are warning me that he has lost so much weight. But I will be so happy to just have him here.I too am scared of losing my dad as he has always been my rock and has gotten me through so many things. Even now if I have a little drama I know I can ring him and then I am fine.I also think I am in denial and sometimes think"no he will always be here" but deep down I know that's not true. I really urge you to contact Cancer Council and get councillor help. I have a lady who rings me every week and I can't stress enough how much she has helped me. My heart really goes out to you as you are so young- I am 59 and everyone says to me" well he is old and you have to expect it" but he is still my dad and I love him. Take care of yourself and keep in touch with this site and contact cancer council xoxo Chris ... View more

Hi there. I know exactly how you feel as I am feeling all the same things. I know my 83yr old dad hasn't got too much longer to go but I feel he is hanging in there for me as he said to friends weeks ago "i just don't know how Chris(me) will cope when I'm gone". And to tell the truth I don't know either. At this stage I can't even comprehend going to funeral etc and dad knows this and understands. Some days I try and keep busy and try to think this is all a bad dream but I know it isn't. People say"you are so lucky to have this time to prepare for when he goes" but how do you ever prepare for the loss of your parent. I just really wish I had a supportive family but unfortunately I don't ( even though they all love dad/pop). Only support I get is from this great website and cancer council councellor who calls every week!!!.I too try and keep things in when around dad but he lives so far away(even though I call him every night and we have lovely chats) but it is when we hang up the tears start and like you that can happen any time of the day. Thankfully dad is coming in 2 weeks to stay for a little while and I will really have to keep the tears in check. But it is so so hard especially when you love your dad so much. You take care and I am always here for you xo Chris ... View more

Hi Dizzydee. I'm so sorry to hear about your dear dad.I can sort of imagine how you are feeling as I am preparing myself for my dad going. It must be so hard but try and think of all your happy memories with your dad as I'm sure you have many. Easier said than done but please take care of yourself and keep in touch with this site as it is so helpful. Take care xoxoChris ... View more

Hi there. I have had my colonography which wasn't so bad but then I found out that I have to pay surgeon to get results. I originally went through ED ande noone told me I would have to pay and I assumed as Iwasapublic/pensioner it would be covered by medicare. I have appt with surgeon 27may and have to pay $100 which I don'thave otherwise I don't get results. I am still bleeding heavily from bowel and have so much pain but can't afford to get results. Ithink it sucks that no one in hospital told me I would have to pay surgeon. Where do I go from here? ... View more

Hi there. I have had my colonography which wasn't so bad but then I found out that I have to pay surgeon to get results. I originally went through ED ande noone told me I would have to pay and I assumed as Iwasapublic/pensioner it would be covered by medicare. I have appt with surgeon 27may and have to pay $100 which I don'thave otherwise I don't get results. I am still bleeding heavily from bowel and have so much pain but can't afford to get results. Ithink it sucks that no one in hospital told me I would have to pay surgeon. Where do I go from here? ... View more

Hi Amie. I also am so sorry for your lossand I feel for you so much as I don't think my dad has too much longer. But you are so so much younger than me and at your age you shouldn't have to go through all this grief!! No you are not an "ungreatful sod" you are just a loving daughter who is really missing her dad and needs time alone and I know I will feel the same. It is people like you and others on this site who keep me going. Please look after yourself and remember all those precious times you had with your dad xoxo Chris ... View more

Hi there. I have just read one of your posts and it has really given me some insight into what I will have to remember my dad. Besides hundreds of photos and memories of great times I also have about 6 videos with dad on them and when I look at them now I just cry for what I am about to lose. But you have made me think - I should really have these transferred to DVD so we will have everlasting memories of dad as these videos are getting a bit old and distorted. Your idea of a legacy box sounds great. I will start tomorrow. Thanks so much for your inspiration xo Chris ... View more

Hi again. When u said your cancer was dected with CT as I have read on net that that is cancer is detected and that is what I am having done next week. I just don't know what to do ... View more

Hi there. Yes I am terrified as I have read on internet that this next test I am having is to see how advanced cancer is but I haven't been told I have cancer!!!! The registrar came out and kept feeling my tummy for pain but was especially interested in left shoulder pain. My colonoscopy took over an hour and when I read the form for xray it said ?mass. What am I supposed to read from this. Also going through public system I have only seen my gastro in ED. so can't really talk to him. Just so worried ... View more