Hi there. Got a huge scare this morning. Dad went to hospital yesterday to have a stent put in oesophageus to make him more comfortable as hasn't been able to eat/swallow and was sent home last night. Got a call this morning saying he was rushed to hospital as vomiting blood and so distressed he couldn't even call 000. Despite him telling us not to come my daughter and I made the 7hr round trip to see him and I'm so glad I did!!! I have asked him to move down with me and I think he is scared now too. He needs to have someone with him all the time. But he is still worried it will all be too much for me as my health is bad as well. Any suggestions as to how I can convince him to move!!!! ... View more

Hi Tonya. What a bummer. I just replied to you and somehow pressed wrong button and GONE. No you are the trooper as you are so young(same age as my kids) and you shouldn't have to be coping with this but as I've been told C doesn't discriminate. Yes I am doing what I can from afar but it's not enough even though we have asked dad to move here but dr says not to push him and then I have family saying "he is old maybe it's his time" but I can't handle that. He is my dad who has always been my rock and emotional support and I can't see a life without him.I think that is where my dad is now- he doesn't want to deal with it anymore but where does that leave us!!! If you are being selfish then I am too. Please take of yourself xoxo Chris ... View more

Hi there. My dad who lives 5hr train trip away was in hospital today having a stent put in to try and make it a little more comfortable for but when I spoke to him he sounded awful-couldn't even talk properly and just wanted to sleep all weekend. I just feel SO SO helpless and don't know what else to do except let him know I love him and we will all help him move to us. Just feel so guilty that he hasn't got his family around him but just a neighbour. But we have done all we can to bring him here but dr said not to push!!!! I just hate this. ... View more

Sorry I meant to say you take care not you take LOL. I am just trying to get used to this online chatting. Bye ... View more

Hi there. My name is Chris and I have only just joined this website but already it has given me so much support. My 83yr old dad has oesophageus cancer and lives 5hr train trip away from me and refuses to move down with me. I just feel so bad that I can't be the one to help him out each day. Yes he has neighbours/friends taking him to appts/shopping etc but I really need to do that for him and I can't. Dad and I are really close and I know he worries about me as much as I worry about him. To make matters worse (I always ring him at 7pm every night) but tonight I was just so so tired and couldn't make that call and he rang me at 7.30 and said he was going to bed and I felt awful as he is going into hospital tomorrow to have stent put in and even though I didn't forget somehow my mind totally shut down and now I feel so bad. Also I have 2 brothers who don't even know he is going into hospital but for once I am NOT going to ring them as if they were concerned they would keep in contact with him. I just feel totally lost and don't know what to do.It must be hard for you as you have kids and no you are not being selfish but just trying to cope with a very hard time. Please stay in touch with this site as it has helped me so much since I joined- more understanding than I get from family/friends. You take. Chris ... View more

Hi Can anyone tell me if I have the right to contact my dad's dr without his permission to find out his prognosis. His neighbour (who I'm so thankful he has) takes him to appts tells me she has spoken to specialist but I would like to know if I ring Dr does he have to tell me details. Dad has me down as next of kin with hospital but I can't understand when neighbour picks dad up why dr gives her details ... View more

Hi Julie. I did get a bit of sleep last night but this morning I received the package from Cancer Council and included was a relaxation CD. I laid down and played it and fell asleep for 5 hrs - I must have really needed sleep!!!! Yes this site is so amazing and as I have said before I feel somewhat guilty as I have my dad here (who knows for how long) and others have lost loved ones. At least I now have somewhere where I can share my thoughts and get support. Even though my family love me and my dad to bits somehow they think I'm crazy to be grieving while he is still here. A big part of that grief for me is the fact that he is so far away and I can't see him every day. I do phone every night but when I get off the phone I feel so upset. If it feels this bad now what will it be like when he goes!! I can't think about it but I do. And dad is so so positive and I know he is worried about how I will cope. Thanks for listening and take care. Chris xo ... View more

Hi there tkay. I know how you feel. I have only joined this website today but wish I had found it ages ago. I feel so bad that I am complaining about my dad who is still here but hasn't got long to go when so many of you have children/husbands/wives with cancer who are a lot worse off than me and I feel for you all SO much but I know this is a personal thing and I can't see a life for me without my dad in it even though I have 2 great kids and 4 beautiful grandkids. You take care Veronica and your story helped me so much xx Chris ... View more

Hi Cats. Yeah my dad ismy best friend also and he also had prostate cancer as well as oesophageous but I'm not sure he is telling me the whole truth. Even though I have 2 brothers (1 is an interstate truck driver and siops in to see dad whenever he can but other one only lives 1hr drive away and never goes to visit) I know dad is worried about how I am going to cope once he has gone but he keeps telling me he has years to go (which I know he hasn't). I ring him every day and I hope that makes him feel better and am going up there in 2 weeks but just wish he would move down with me but my dr says don't push him so I won't. Just so hard when close family can't see my side of things. I will try to sleep tonight and thank god for all you wonderful people. Wish I had found this site ages ago. Take care. Chris ... View more