About chris_martin

chris_martin

Hi Nicole and Cats. Thank you guys so much for your kind words and advice. Yes I have been in touch with Cancer Council and only this morning had a 1hr phone interview and now I will receive 5x ihr phone sessions with a pshchologist over next few months. I really feel this will help but I also think when the time does come all that counselling will go out the window wnd I won't cope as I am not a strong person as all my strength has always come from my dad.And Cats please don't think you have upset me as when I read all these comments they give me that little bit of strength and Nicole I have found some lovely music that I can play when I go to bed as that may help me get even a few hours sleep. Fingers crossed dad will be down here next week for 12 days and we can have more special times together - I am still trying to convince him to come live with me but I won't push him!!! You all take care Chris

chris_martin

Hi Sailor. Just wanted your advice again!!! Today dad went to GP and thought he would be off morphein patches but instead the dose was doubled for another 15 days (original was 5 days) and anti nausea drugs also doubled. Dad tells me he has no pain/nausea but I find it hard to believe that as they have increased his doses. Does this all make sense to you as it worries the hell out of me as I think my dad may be lying to me to protect me. I just don.t know what to think anymore. Regards Chris

chris_martin

I thought I was making some progress with my dad's cancer and was trying to feel as positive as he seems to be. Although I really think he is trying to be strong for me and prepare me for when the time comes. His morphein dose has been doubled today and he has been given even more tablets for nausea but when I ask him about pain/nausea he just says tablets are in case he does feel sick. I really don't know what to think. I am back to where I was weeks ago although now I think I realise he may not have much time. I just can't sleep- through the day I talk to him on phone and try to keep myself occupied( even though I have been in hospital last few days) but night times is the worst. That is when all my fears kick in and I wonder "how the hell am I going to go on without my best friend?" I know I need rest but it eludes me at the moment. Is it normal to feel like this?

chris_martin

Hi there Dizzy Dee. Like you my 83yr old dad has oesophageus cancer and I.m told there is not much more they can do. But you have made the best decision by logging onto this site!!!!. I am still lost but there are so many wonderful and kind people her who are always willing to listen. I know it won't prolong dad's life but it is making it a little easier on me to know that there are kind people willing to listen and give advice. My advice is to spend as much time with him as you can and always keep telling him how much you love him. That has helped me and my dad heaps. Take care Chris

chris_martin

Hi Katie. You seem to be in much the same situation as me with my dad except dad lives alone 6hr drive away from me. Believe me when I tell you that I too have done my share of "waffling" on this site and I have found the people so caring and full of wisdom and offer many many kind words even though their burdens are greater than mine as they have little children involved!!. My dad has oesophageus cancer and nothing more can be done for him and he too is getting vague on the phone sometimes. I ring him every night at 7pm and we chat for half an hour and always end our conversation with "I love you" from both of us. Previous to this horrible disease we had never said that as we took it for granted that it was assumed. One thing I have learnt from this whole thing is to never assume how much another person thinks you care. I went up to see dad last week and spent the most precious 4 days with my dad and even though he couldn't eat we spent ages chatting about our memories and about his wishes for me hen he is gone-I really think he trying to prepare me for when he is not around and it should be the other way around. For as long as I live I will never forget those 4 days!!!As I have mentioned before on this site I have 2 brothers (one who only lives 1 hr away) and never bothers to see dad but instead og getting angry I now feel sympathy as they will never be able to get this precious time back with dad and dad accepts it as he says he knows they love him but just can't show it the way I can. So keep doing what you are doing for your dad as I am sure - like mine- he knows how very much you love him. Take care Chris

chris_martin

I am so happy tonight- even though dad is on morphein and we have had a HORRIBLE few weeks- I am going by train tomorrow to spend a few days with my precious dad and he has said to me that he wants us to go to our favourite places for lunch/dinner- he said even though he can't eat I don't have the right to take away his pleasure from seeing me have a good time. I will try and respect his wishes but it will be so so hard. I am just so lucky to have the special dad that I have and that makes it even harder as he thinks more of me than he does himself. But at least he knows I am always here for him when his sons aren't and that hurts me too. But I will always know I have been there for dad. Chris

chris_martin

Hi there. Just wanting to know if anyone has been given morphine patches. My 83 yr old dad with oesophageus cancer has been given them today and I don't know what that means!!! He seemed quite high tonight. Does that mean they are giving him them as they don't think he has long to go. I am really lost.

chris_martin

Hi Mrs Elton. My heart goes out to you and your family. Here I am feeling so bad as my dad is dying but you are going through so much more. My grandkids are same age as your boys and I don't know how they would cope with your situation. My prayers are with you and your family. This C word is an awful thing to deal with. Take care of yourself and those precious boys. xoxo Chris

chris_martin

Hi Mrs Elton. Am still trying to find my way around website. Have just read your latest post and I really feel for you. We are years apart as I have grandkids same age as your 2 boys and especially 8yr old grandson is so pset bout his pop. Today he asked when is pop coming down again and he said he will help me with gardening (my dad loves coming here and doing gardening) and then when when pop comes he can just relax!!. I really think he knows how bad things are and can't deal with it. I can imagine how your boys must be feeling. My heart goes out to you and hope you get good results from scan. You and all the wonderful people on this site have helped me greatly xoxo Chris

chris_martin

Hi Clo. I know you are a lot younger than me- I am 58 with 83 yr old dad with terminal oesophageus cancer. We have had bad times last few weeks as he lives 6hr train trip away from me and I have asked him to move in with me but I think he thinks it will be too much for me to handle. And that is where my heart goes out to you so much as you are so young!! I really think you are being such a great comfort to your mum by being there for her. I too do not know how to make their life more comfortable as I know my dad is in pain but won't show it to me. Just be there for your mum and as people have said to me make at least an hour each day for yourself but that is easier said than done. Please take care of yourself. xo Chris

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How do other's cope late at night?

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my dad has cancer

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