Rainbow Blog by tsey I learnt through the process that: a) as a carer, we learnt to be more patient, offer the love and care on our soft side. b) not one text book explains my unique situation (some lines apply but not actually fit into one case) c) not one text book explains the unique situation of my husband. They touch the topic but every cancer patient has different level, different stage, different drug taken, different treatment. Every patient has different feeling on their cancers, their body reflects to the treatment. d) my husband did not like vegetable juice, coconut milk, avacado, apple sauce and all the goodies that the book said they are good for cancer patient. So, what can we do as a carer? I do not feel hurt about him not eating. I feel helpless that I can't do anything to help. e) we just have to follow the flow. There is no one answer to the question that we keep asking every day: what's next? Is he going to get better? when? will he die? The process is long and no one knows how long will this process last? Whenever I talk to people what I am going through, they are said "woh" "there is a lot to take in!" f) need to find myself a lot of aspiration words to give encouragement to me g) we need to be super-organised, juggle along our schedule along with all clinicial/hospital visits + we want to keep on doing the things we want to do h) when my husband go out with me, we hold hands (we are husband and wife) not patient and a carer. I have made this change. It makes a lot of difference. i) when there are issues that are bothering me, I (imaginally) grap it with my hand, throw it away from my heart position to the air. (I want to throw them away, I don't want them to bother me anymore) ... View more

My husband's cancer marker gone down from 2,400 t0 1,000. So, we are all v. happy about it. I have put a measuring jug (1L) one in front of the TV (where my husband can see it). Whenever he drinks anything, I will pour the same amount of water into the jug. He will see how much he has to drink further in order to reach the 1L target (least). This method works very well. Now, the challenge is to reach the 2,000 CAL every day. He probably eats around 1,000 CAL/day. It is hard as his taste bud changes daily and he just didn't feel like eating at all. He is trying definitely, but v. hard for him as well. I only learn all these through this process of taking care of my husband. A SALUTE to all carers and all family members. We all work very hard to make things happen and we all need to SMILE as well. ... View more

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low, and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT! Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar, So stock to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things go wrong that you MUSTN't QUIT! ... View more

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low, and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but DONT YOU QUIT! Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar, So stock to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things go wrong that you MUSTN't QUIT! ... View more

I am not alone. I am so happy tonight. We all have to live today as if tomorrow never comes! ... View more

Thanks guys, I didn't check this blog for few weeks. I have typed heaps of lines now, but they are all LOST! Gee, I am hopeless in blog writing. (where they in the Pacific Ocean or the Indian Ocean now.... hummm?) I am so happy that someone replies. You all are my angels. Yes, I have registered with the Cancer Hotline, hopefully, I shall be lined up with one of the conference call meeting to share our hopes and dramas as a carer. My boss offers me to take 6-months from work, so I took it. Gee, that is hard of 'not-working'! The 1st week is fun. The 2nd week is terrible. I have seen a counsellor last week (just to release my frustration). Went to the city, stayed in a hotel for an overnight, just to sort myself out, wrote down all my thoughts. The outcome is: - I have to changed. I have to learn to change. I am only 50% a carer. 50% I have to be ME ME ME! - I need to find something that can stimulate my mind (even though I stayed home most of the time) - I have joined the knitters club (which give me some purpose of life and go out to meet other people, be socialise) - I have called one organisation and see if I can do some volunteer work (hard to say, as I need to work around my husband schedule in seeing his oncology and chemo session), will see. We went to see the oncology today. Good news is the Cancer Marker has gone down from 2,400 --> 1,000, so my husband cancer responded to Avastin. Surgery still not considered as it is Stage 4 (spread to other organs). Yes, he has told himself to gain weight from 60kg(now) to as much as he can. These few days, he is a good boy, he can finish 1L of fluid. He has to keep trying to push food into his stomach. This is hard, really hard. ... View more