Not knowing you, but knowing the pain of your loss at this time, I wish you and your children my heart felt condolences. I'll light a candle tonight and add it next to the one I light for my Darling and Mrs Eltons love.... with love Jewel ... View more

Dear Jill, My deepest condolences for the loss of Greg.... I know too well the pain now, my Mark passed just this Monday gone 7th June 4.45 am. Marks funeral is tomorrow 11th June. While I am grateful that Mark is now no longer in pain, I am devastated at how fast the cancer took over his life. My Mark never had a chance, I cry for the vain hope I'd had to have him with us for just a little longer..... I am angry that in this day and time we "still" do not have more definitive markers to alert us that our bodies are failing us. Anyhow my bleating is moot now, my love is gone and life will never be the same for my children nor me. Bless you for sharing so much of your life here, may you find peace is no longer a distant possibility. with warmth and kindness, Jewel ... View more

Dear Jill, I send you my love and I am thinking of you, may you be blessed with unwavering strength to carry you and your family through this next phase of the journey. Jewel xx ... View more

Hi Jill, Shite! Reading this and others thoughts was very hard for me, you took the words out of my head and I am not even close to the time you have been dealing with your anguish. It's the unknown that really frightens me too..... I guess I'll be watching this thread closely, in hope I'll pick up a few coping pointers. Gentle hugs to you and yours, Jewel ... View more

Hi Sailor, Thank you for the reality of your post, yes, I guess we take for granted in this day and age the wonders,advances of medicine and our quality of life has improved through the decades to afford many of us a longer time with those we love. Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing, or not, as I feel sometimes we "assume" a persona of immortality on a subconscious level because we have forgotten about the reality of our limited time here. Jewel x ... View more

Many happy blessings for your special day, I hope it's filled with much love and joyous laughter. regards Jewel ... View more

Yes, cancer is a volcano and sometimes we don't know we are living on one. Then one day an earthquake hits us and we then realise what is seeping beneath the surface of our lives. ... View more

Hi Jill, Thank you very much for your kind reply and the very practical ideas. I tried to phone the "Griefline" number that was passed on to me tonight by the pastoral care from the hospital.... I got a fax machine, so I tried to phone the numbers of the local cancer groups(which by the way are not that local to me as we live far from the "burbs") and I got an engaged line and the other a "number not connected". I was in the process of looking online for something when your reply came through, thank you. I have caught up on your blog and note that your situation is very similar to mine, except the specifics of the cancer that our husbands have been diagnosed, the emotions are the same and we have young children to care for through this roller-coaster of turmoil. Your family is a year down the line and when I read your reflections of the loss of your "former" life it really struck a cord with me.... I realise now that nothing will ever be the same again for our family too... the grief of this realisation is overwhelming. I sit here tonight in the darkness and wonder why... I sit here and try to think of a way to make the nightmare go away.... I sit here and try to find the answer and it doesn't come... I keep wishing I had seen the signs earlier, now when I look back they were there, I didn't pick them for this nightmare, I blindly thought the signs were normal stress of living a normal busy life. I tumble between anguish, fear, anger and rage and then back to crying that this could happen to us. It's not fair, we have had our share of life stress and issues caused by others, we had moved on, to a place where the future was a wonderful prospect and we were a very very happy family unit and now it's gone... I worry about Mark, I worry about our babies, I worry about where we are going to live if we have to sell our home because we can't affords to stay here, I worry about the future, what if something happens to me? My parents are long dead, Marks family live in another state far away and are not even remotely close emotionally in so far as a cursory yearly xmas email is an amazing suprise from them....and now all of a sudden I am bombarded by them with impersonal phone calls requesting information about Mark, so now I worry how to deal with them..... I feel so lost.... Will it always be like this now?????????????????......... kind regards Jewel ... View more

Thanks Katie, At the moment, all I seem to do is cry, everything is whizzing around in my head constantly, the last fortnight, or so, has been surreal,I forget what day it is and what time, the silence of the house at night is terrible, I don't think I really believe, or understand yet, what has happened to us....that is possibly sign of shock. It has scared me so much I went to my GP yesterday and demanded a full set of bloods to be taken, even though I know rationally, it's not catching, I am frightened I might have cancer too... :( I have been reading mountains of information, but the info only seems to deal with when you have one "type" of operation for a "type of cancer" , there doesn't seem to be a lot that talks about the effects or how to deal with "multiple organ removal". Anyhow, I figured I better start somewhere, the "Hospital system" (where Mark is) doesn't seem to be very supportive or offer much information to me at this stage....it's so hard to get answers from doctors or nurses despite my desperate questions and I am just so drained from constantly asking them what and where do we go for help. Sorry if the above reads fragmented, it seems to be the way my brain works at the moment. :( Thanks again Jewel ... View more