June 2011
I like number 2 as well. People want to say something nice & this is a good harmless nice thing to say.
Number 6 is ok with me. I like it when people say it to me as they generally mean it in a 'you're getting healthier looking' way.
Number 4 bothered me a bit - I always had confidence that in the long term things would be ok but there was the short term crappiness that I had to get through first which this seems to skim over.
But I didn't like that the article seemed to be trying to speak for all patients when different people will have some different thoughts.
I had a pamphlet designed for the breast cancer patient to give to their friends and workmates which had tips on what were appropriate and non-appropriate things to say to breast cancer patients. I have talked to some people who really liked that pamphlet and found it helpful to give it out to people. But for me personally I was horrified by the thought of giving people an instruction manual for how they should deal with me.
Sometimes people have said things to me that I thought were insensitive but I didn't mind because I felt it meant they weren't treating me with kid-gloves which was good.
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May 2011
hi frangipani,
I'm glad to hear that your reconstruction is complete & you're happy.
I had my mastectomy 3 and a half weeks ago and it was not as bad as was I worried it would be. Even the drain didn't creep me out like I thought it would. At the moment my forearm is quite sore but apart from that I am recovering well. Unfortunately they had to put in an expander so there will be another op to swap it for the permanent implant, but I guess that operation is not such a big deal.
Thanks for your encouragement before the op.
Allicat
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May 2011
That's good your chemo is going well. I was able to continue with most of my normal activities during chemo. I think it is good to keep doing as much as you can, without overdoing it.
When I started chemo it was hard to imagine that it would one day be finished. But today is 11 weeks since my last chemo and it seems like a very long time ago. My energy has come back and my hair is growing back - if it was warmer I'd be tempted to leave off my cap but I'll need it for warmth for a while yet.
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May 2011
Thank you for the responses. Reading them made me cry. Writing my post made me cry as well.
It is easier to type difficult thoughts rather than say them out loud. And telling my thoughts helps to stop them from going round and round in my head.
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May 2011
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer it worried my sister so she had a mammogram and was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 months after me. I feel sympathy for her about what she will have to go through but more than that I feel resentful that she has taken some of my specialness away. That is a terrible thing to say and I feel very bad about it.
Obviously I do not like having cancer but I don't know how to write this without making it sound confusingly as if I do. I liked that no-one in my family could judge me because I was the only one who had cancer and they didn't know what it was like. I liked having an experience that was mine alone. I liked that they all thought I was brave. Her having cancer too makes me feel less proud of myself for managing my cancer so well. Gosh, I sound like a horrible person.
Also, I have finished chemo and my hair is growing back. She is just starting hers so instead of moving onwards and leaving chemo behind we have to go through it all over again. When can we go back to having lives that don't revolve around cancer?
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A few weeks ago my counsellor asked if I was most worried about the time before, during or after my surgery. I said I would be ok during the surgery since I would be asleep & that what was most worrying me was beforehand when I had to sit in the waiting room. I was quite terrified of the waiting part because it really didn't seem possible that I would be able to sit in the waiting room without turning into a gibbering wreck.
As it turned out I was ok - since the part I was dreading was the waiting room it meant that when I got to the waiting room I wasn't waiting for the scary part anymore, it was happening and so I could deal with it.
Now, I am in the recovering from surgery stage. Which basically consists of sitting around waiting to be better.
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April 2011
I had a mastectomy & immediate reconstruction last week.
The plastic surgeon said beforehand that he thought he could put the permanent implant straight in without needing an expander as I am quite small breasted. But, it turned out he put in an expander because he didn't have an implant small enough!
I feel quite upset & betrayed by this. While there had been the possibility of needing an expander it had been for almost the opposite reason - if there wasn't enough skin to allow the implant to fit initially. The possiblity of the implant being too big was not mentioned. I let them put me to sleep with a certain understanding of what was to happen & they did something different.
I now will need to have a second operation which means I have to go through the whole recovery process only to get cut open again & have to recover again.
This last operation was supposed to be the last big cancer thing & then I could recover and move on. I don't want to have to do it again.
Apparently lots of women having a mastecomy & reconstruction on one side also have the other side enlarged at the same time which makes it easier to match them. But surely I can't be the only one with such small breasts who didn't want to go any bigger?
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March 2011
Sorry, I can't help as I haven't even started on tamoxifen yet.
That's surprising there is no data - I would have assumed everything like that would have been studied.
Best wishes for whatever you decide to do.
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