Welcome to the site - hope all is going well for you and you are recovering from surgery. Just remember - dont overdue it and take your time recovering. You are in for 'one hell of a ride'.
Good luck with your doc's visit next week.
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I must say you 'sound' a little better in your last post than in your previous ones - I hope I was able to help you see that it is OK to see your dad, and it is OK to feel the way you have been.
Some people try and hide from the truth and its sounds like your mum is one of those people (no disrespect to your mum), that is how they handle bad situations. My dear mum was someone who thought if she didnt know everything that was going on when dad was dying, then the bad stuff would go away and he would be ok. Unfortunately that didnt happen. Even though mum wouldnt talk about 'things' with dad - he died anyway - so her shielding dad from everything, didnt work.
Please remember that no sick person has it 'way worse than anyone else'. If you are sick - then you are sick! Dont feel guilty that you think because your dad has cancer, then you cant feel like crap due to your own health problems. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE SICK AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE CRAP. I can understand why you are putting off surgery at the moment, but if it becomes a necessity, then you wouldnt be a burden on anyone. You said you have a great man in your life, and I'm sure he would look after you and support you.
You probably have the flu due to all the stress you are under at the moment, our poor bodies can only take so much stress, as well as this stupid bloody weather (it is very cold here today - I have had the wood fire burning all day!!!).
Hope the party goes well, love the bit about the inlaws!!! Its a shame you cant send me a piece of cake over the net, you will just have to eat a piece for me.
You take care of yourself! Talk soon. All the best
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It looks like you are 'the meat in the sandwich'. Kids will be kids, and even though they know that dad is sick, they dont know how sick and they are far too young to understand anyway.
Unfortunately the whole world doesn't stop just because we are sick. I am now speaking as a cancer sufferer myself and also as a carer who looked after my mum and dad when they were dying (my mum only 2 years ago).
You can certainly talk to your kids and tell them that daddy isnt well and they must try and be quiet - but........whatever you tell them is going to be forgotten within 10 minutes, because they just cant grasp the whole situation. You will have more luck trying to explain to your hubby that you realise that he is sick and feels like crap, but there is no need to be unreasonable where the children are concerned. The other thing that you may be able to suggest is - if he cant tolerate the children at the moment, then maybe he should go into hospital care until he feels a bit better.
I know that we sufferers are sometimes not the easiest people to be around due to our treatments, pain, etc - but we also need to realise, especially when there a little kiddies involved, that we cant expect everybody to try and accomodate the way we feel.
I wish you well, I think you have a tough time ahead of you.
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welcome to the site. Glad your surgery went well, you will find that the area wont have a lot of pain, due to the numbness from the op. I had mastectomy and full axilla clearance 2 years ago and my right side, underarm, arm and back are still quite numb, which is all the more reason, why you should not try to overdo things. Listen to your body and rest when necessary. Are you going to have chemo and radiation?
There is another site that you may find interesting (recommended to me by one of the other members of this forum) - www.bcna.org.au
this is the Breast Cancer site.
Hope you continue to recover well.
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My god, what a shit time you are having. This horrible disease seems to bring out the worst in some people, because it hits you like a ton of bricks, and no one has time to get used to the idea of what is happening to their bodies or their family. The speed with which this disease attacks is unforgiving!
Please dont feel quilty about anything you have done or said. It is just your coping mechanism kicking in, and your way of dealing with the situation, which is always going to be different to other people. If we were all the same, and had the same reactions, emotions, etc - the world would be a very boring place!
If you want to visit your dad, then I would suggest that you go ahead and do it. Dont tell him or your mum that you are coming - just do it. This way they will have no time to prepare any exuses as to why you shouldnt come and I think, once your dad gets over the initial shock of you turning up, he will be so glad to see you. If you have always had a good relationship with your dad before his illness, then he will be so glad to see you now when he needs your support the most. If you dont visit him, before he dies, then you will never forgive yourself. Better to put up with a few angry words from him now, than go through the rest of your life wishing you had seen him.
There are a lot of carers and even patients who dont want to know the truth, who hide from the facts, but if they only realised the precious time they are wasting with their family. Life can be so cruel.
Dont EVER feel guilty about the happiness you feel for your daughter or 'your man'! This horrible disease should not be allowed to ruin the lives of our loved ones. I have always said that cancer is worse for the loved ones than it is for the patients. We (the patients) pass away and move onto a 'better place' (I hope), but it is the carers and family, loved ones, who are left behind to deal with everything - the guilt, the loneliness, the unhappiness. Please enjoy what time you have left with your dad, BUT also enjoy your life as well, as it is your life that will go on after dad passes.
Enjoy your engagement party, which means the beginning of your life with your man. But please, go and see your dad before it is too late - you wont regret it and neither will he.
Sending big hugs to you - hopefully everything will settle down soon. Take care
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great to hear from you and I'm so glad your dad seems to be improving. One thing is for sure, when your dad starts to feel better, YOU will start to feel better too. He seems to be tolerating the chemo OK which is very good for him. The tiredness is always the worst part (I think anyway) and seems to stay with us continually.
Glad your got over your virus - with this horrible topsy turvy weather we are having (hot one day, cold the next) just make sure that it doesnt creep back on you. Some of these virus's are really hard to shake.
Gosh an 8 hour round trip - thats massive. Here am I bitching about a 4 hour round trip! It can certainly get you down when you have a lot of travelling to do, especially as you say when you are doing it alone.
I'm doing well thanks, start 3rd cycle of oral chemo tomorrow - it isnt so bad. Partner says I get a bit shitty, but I try to tell him that's par for the course. Bailey is doing well, talk to them on the phone re: her progress but will try and get down to visit them end of this week or early next week. My son sends me lots of photos, so at least I feel like I am a part of it all.
Take care - big hugs to you and dad
Di xoxo 🙂
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great to hear from you and welcome to the site. Thanks for you lovely words, but everything I say on here comes from my heart. I was re-reading some of my posts the other night and I thought to myself people on here will think 'oh here she goes again - does she think she knows everything?' - I suppose I'm like the people who say they have been everywhere and done everything, but sadly it just shows that my life has been touched by a lot of illness and sadness. I would much rather NOT be able to comment on a lot of these posts, but because I have been through it, I feel that I should try and help others. (I hope all of the above makes sense!)
My little baby is so beautiful, hopefully will try to get down to Melb again this weekend to see her. As for f/book games, I have started playing Zuma Blitz - great game but soooo addictive. Anyway, it fills in my time at night when partner has gone to bed and I cant sleep (any also during the day when I cant be bothered and just want to veg out!).
Take care, talk soon
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.