thanks for the quick response Sailor. Maybe I had a different expectation for this site. I just thought so many people, with many varying types of cancer, would be able to answer questions, etc with far more accuracy than most. You seem to be a regular, I've noticed your name popping up throughout many of the discussions, do you know how many active members there are on this site? ... View more

Hi Lisa, I am also new to this site and am just trying to negotiate my way around. I notice your post was written quite a few months ago, and this response is really late. Just want to let you know I am thinking of you and I hope all is going well with your journey. If you underwent the chemo, I hope you had a positive result. Good luck! ... View more

Hi Meandma I watched both my parents die from cancer. My father - 16 years ago. No treatment options were given to him as his cancer was too widespread. My darling mum died 2 years ago from pancreatic cancer, and again, no treatment options for her. It is a struggle to watch the ones we love being torn apart by cancer, but I viewed it as a priviledge that I was there with them during their times of need. I was holding my mums hand when you took her last breath, and I feel honoured (and yet heartbroken at the same time) to have been at her side. I can only imagine how it must hurt you to have to watch your mum coping with the effects of chemo and the cancer. I'm sure if you were able to swap places with your mum she would say to you 'No - I have lived a good life and you havent lived yours yet!' I am sure she wouldnt want to deprive you of the years ahead of you. Cherish you mum while you still have, dont ask yourself 'why mum, and not me', just be there for her and dont forget to try and take care of yourself, at the same time. Life can be a real b*&^h at times, but unfortunately there is not a lot that we can do to change it. Dont be hard on yourself and give your mum lots of love. Take care and good luck ... View more

I lost every hair on my body during chemo. Did it bother me? NO!! The only part I didnt like was no eyebrows or eyelashes. I loved the freedom of being bald. No more hair spray, shampoo, gel, etc. I dont like hats, and I tried on wigs at Look Good, Feel Better - they just weren't ME! Each to their own I suppose, but I, for one, loved being bald! ... View more

Hi Sqweege, Just reading your post has brought back a lot of memories from when my dear dad was dying of cancer - 16 years ago. I too watched him fade away over a 10 month period, from a big man who weighed 18 stone, down to a skinny little man weighing no more than 6 stone. It broke my heart to see the man I absolutely adored going downhill so fast. My dad and I used to talk about everything and anything. My mum and sister, on the other hand, had the attitude that if I dont talk about it, it will just go away. My dad wanted to be at home, so I helped my mum care for him. Dad and I would talk for hours, about everything, and one of those was his fear of dying! I was the only one dad had to talk to, that would actually acknowledge that his time was coming to an end. I know it is extremely hard for you (what daughter doesnt idolise her dad!), but I wonder if you talk about your dad's fears with him. Maybe he wants someone to actually acknowledge what is happening to him, and to share his fears. I found that being open and honest with dad, not only helped him, but it helped me too. It is very easy to say 'look after yourself', 'you are no use to your dad if you fall apart' - believe me, these were things that were said to me. But hang on a minute, of course we will fall apart, thats what losing a loved one means!!! Crying is good for you, as it will help release all your pent up emotions. You will never prepare yourself for losing your dad, but trust me, the memories you have left of all the good times, and the times you spent with him helping him through his crisis, will live with you long after your dad has gone! Treasure him while he is still with you, but also dont be afraid to let him see how much this is hurting you too. Be there for him, and let him talk about whatever he wants too with you. My heart goes out to you and your family, especially your dad. Good luck. ... View more

Hi Maddie, I have had radiation treatment twice for my breast cancer. The first treatment was very intensive, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Due to the area being treated I suffered severe burns to my chest, underarm area. However, I believe that depending on which parts of the body are being treated, these burns do not happen to everyone! My second bout of radiation was just a short 5 days treatment. This was to my neck/jaw area where the bone cancer is causing a few probs. I had no probs with this treatment, except for an extremely sore throat. The only other 'thing' I found with radiation was that it made me extremly tired! I have not had radiation and chemo at the same time, so I cant help you out there. I used to tell myself, that the sicker I felt during these treatments just meant that 'they' were working. Isnt it funny how we dont think something is working, unless we can 'see' it. Take care and good luck. ... View more

Hi Maddie, Just trying to negotiate my way around this site, and came across your entry. My heart goes out to you in so much as no matter who we are, live never seems to go the way we plan it! This whole cancer 'thing' is a b*&ch, to say the least! There is an old saying 'these things are sent to test us' - and test us, they surely do. You are very young to be having to face all of this, when as you say, your friends are buying houses, getting married, etc. Your dreams are probably the same dreams that your partner had not so long ago (before cancer) - but sometimes these dreams get pushed aside because of 'bigger things' that are happening. Maybe he thinks that his cancer will be passed on to any children he may father. Have you spoken to him about this? As a past carer of my parents, and now a cancer patient myself, all I am trying to say is - sometimes life seems so cruel and insurmountable, but maybe once your partner has had his surgery and treatments, and 'things' start to run more smoothly, life should start to settle down. Dont give up on any hopes and dreams you both shared, none of us know what is around the corner. Just remember you are not alone and people on this forum HAVE been there and know what you are talking about, and WILL listen to your fears. Good luck to you! ... View more

Hi Maddie, I found a lot of 'friends' would say, 'it will be OK, I know what you are going through!" This used to (and still does) make me so angry. NOBODY knows what we are going through, either as a patient or a carer, unless they have actually travelled this road themselves. My father died of cancer 16 years ago and I helped my mum care for him at home. His diagnosis was 12 months, however he passed away after 10 months. I remember getting angry with dad when he wouldnt get out of bed, and didnt want to go for walks, etc. I had no idea of the tiredness he was feeling. However, now that I am travelling the same journey as Dad, I understand what the tiredness is like! It is a tiredness that consumes your entire body, making it hard to even do the easiest of chores. My partner still thinks that when I am tired, I should go to bed to have a 'good sleep'. This tiredness is way beyond what sleeping can fix. My mother died of pancreatic cancer 2 years ago (2 months before my own diagnosis). As a carer, it is tremendously hard to imagine how our loved ones are feeling - but I also believe that carer's 'do it just as tough' as the patient. I too have a lot of 'friends' that dont bother to ring to see how I am going. I put this down to the fact that they just dont know how to handle the situation, and worse still - they dont know what to say. As a carer, just remember that it is OK for you to feel angry and helpless, and that sometimes if your partner is a 'bit sharp' with you or a little short tempered (trust me - I know about this side of it from being a patient - just ask MY partner)- just remember you are BOTH hurting and continually worrying about what is going to happen. But also remember, you are BOTH travelling this journey with the person YOU LOVE! Times are tough, but hopefully your love for each other will get you through. As for your so called friends, forget them and concentrate on the things that DO matter. Good luck and best wishes to you and your partner 🙂 ... View more

Hi guys, thanks so much for the welcome and the kind words. @Maddie, I was diagnosed 2 years ago. So much has happened regarding treatment, setbacks, doc's, scan, etc that the time has just flown. I see just as many docs now and have just as many scans, tests as I did when first diagnosed, which makes it really difficult to plan and enjoy my time. After reading some of the problems other members are facing on their 'journey', especially some of the mouth, nose and throat cancers and the treatment/surgery for these, I am feeling 'lucky' that I have breast cancer. Trust me - that is one thing that I never thought I would say, - that I am lucky to have cancer!!! I am sure we all face our problems with 'guts and dertermination' regardless of what type of cancer we have. This is a long hard journey for all of us, carers and family moreso than the patient. I wish everybody well with their treatment and their progress. 🙂 ... View more