that is so funny! Every time I would ask the onco a question - his response was 5 years. I used to think, 'where the hell do they pluck 5 years from' - it seems to be the answer to everything. Regardless, I am going to use my chemo brain excuse for as long as I can. I always used to bleach my hair blonde prior to losing it all due to chemo, so now I cant use the 'blonde excuse' - I use chemo brain instead.
I didnt have pregnancy brain - is that something I missed out on? Or maybe I was just busy being 'blonde', haha.
Hope your well. Have a good one.
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sorry its taken me so long to reply, but there seems to be a problem with the site. I have the email from your last response to the post, but I cant find the thread anywhere on here. I am just going to take up where we left off and hope you can make sense of it.
I'm sorry that your dad is going downhill so quickly, but I am so thrilled and happy that you are spending time with him. I'm sure that he is so happy to have your support.
As for the dotors, well what can I say. Sometimes their bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired, but on the other hand, I suppose they have to distance themselves from the patients or they would spend their entire working day in tears.
Your not alone when you say your partner can appear to not understand. My partner still doesnt get it - after 2 years! He sometimes gives me the impression that he is thinking 'so whats the big deal - your having chemo' - but because we look well on the outside people dont think we are sick. The same applies to you - because you get up and go about your daily business, people have no idea what you are going through emotionally and physically. But hey, dont worry about them, you can alway come on here and tell us whats happening. We will support you, always!
Thanks for the kind words and the cyber hamper - it was wonderful, haha! I was going to try and post a photo of little Bailey, but I cant see how to do it, unless I make it my profile pic. I'm still trying to work it out. She is such a little cutie, cant wait to go back to Melb and see her again (and the other g/kids of course!). I dont want to leave it too long between visits cause babies grow so quickly!.
Hope you had a great visit with your dad, cherish every moment you can. Take care. Talk soon
Di (big hugs to you and dad!) xoxo
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you're safe there, haha - nothing offensive - just some sort of glitch. I have been trying to respond since yesterday, but couldnt find the bloody thread!
I had a laugh to myself when you said your friend was traumatised by the whole chemo 'thing'. With all the chemo treatments I have had, plus I have a monthly bone strengthener infusion, which is also given through my port, my partner has not sat with me once for the entire session. He usually drops me off out the front and goes shopping, then returns 4 hours later to pick me. He did sit there for a few minutes once, but when they got the needle out to insert into the port, he said 'I have to go, I cant sit through this!!!' I just looked at him and said 'well, how do you think I feel? do you really think I like this!' with that he just up and left. My god, we do such awful things to them dont we, how dare we put them through so much trauma (said tongue in cheek)!
I'm glad you are really close again and that he now has some insight into what you are going through, but I doubt that he will ever fully understand it all.
Your comment about chemo brain made me laugh too. I wonder how long it stays with us - but its a good excuse when I muck things up, haha!!!
I am allowing myself time to 'cool off' with my partner - I'm certainly not rushing into any big decisions. I dont normally let it get to me, but as I am still having oral chemo, I have just put it all down to a 'chemo mental melt down' - I'll see what happens over the coming weeks.
I'm thrilled for you that the lump turned out to be nothing. Couldnt have wished for a better result.
Take care. talk soon
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for a minute there, I thought I was going mad. Had an email from an administrator - they are going to look into it.
I have been online very little over the last couple of days, so I thought I may have done something to cause the problem.
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I seem to have some sort of problem with the site. I am being notified by email that there has been a response to a post, but I go looking for it, there is no new response showing. Dont know how this can be, when I have the msg in an email?????
My apologies to Ally3 and Prayingtobeanswered. I have tried to respond to you both, but just cant do it!!! I will tack my responses onto the bottom of what I have showing as the last post, hopefully it will make sense at your end.
Lets give a go anyway - sorry in advance if it doesnt work!
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sounds like your 'coming down' from the cancer rollercoaster!!! When first diagnosed we are shunted around from doctor to doctor; test to test; and so on. The we have surgery, then we have chemo (maybe) then radiation (maybe) and then a regime of tablets that would put any pharmacy to shame, then MORE tests, doctors, scans, etc to make sure that all of the above did the trick.
I was originally diagnosed with advanced breast cancer two years ago, and even though I am still having ongoing treatments, there have been times when I too felt like I had been thrown on the scrapheap! What we have to understand is that this bloody disease (any cancer) plays with not only our bodies, but also our minds. If you let it, it will 'do your head in'. What you need is to give your body time to adjust to everything that it has been through, and give your mind time to adjust and clear out.
It is natural (I think) to feel angry - BUT NOT ALL THE TIME! This is just your natural defense kicking in - but you will need to start worrying if it becomes 'all consuming' and takes over your life!
Please let your body adjust to everything slowly, of course you will be tired - how many people do you know that get up and walk away from being hit by a Mack truck (which is how I describe the feeling after all the treatments we have!). You will get some normalcy (is that a word??) back in your life, but it will take time. Please try not to dwell on whether your cancer will return - you cant move forward, if you are always looking back.
Take care and dont be too hard on yourself. You are just being 'normal'.
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ask your mums doctor for a script for FUNGILIN lozenges. I was given these when I had a very sore mouth from the chemo. There is also a mouthwash that I was given by the chemo nurses, but unfortunately I cant remember what it was called. Ask the nurses where your mum has her chemo - they will know what it is, but get the lozenges as well!
I'm not sure about the rash, but I know before my hair started falling out, I had a very sore scalp and it was very tingly. Again, check with the chemo nurses - I found that they know everything.
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sorry I cant help you with that particular cancer (I've not heard of it) - but I can help you with breast cancer. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and had a mastectomy with full axilla clearance (all lymph nodes removed in underarm and arm as all were cancerous). My initial diagnosis was advanced breast cancer with widespread bony mets (which just means that the cancer has already spread throughout my skeleton - most bones being affected).
Chemo is certainly not the easiest of treatments, but there are drugs that are given to the patients to help combat nausea, etc. Your mum will feel like she has been hit with a Mack truck, the tiredness is 'all consuming' and the emotions 'run riot' - but she will get through it. I used to tell myself that if the chemo was making me feel sick - just imagine what it was doing to the nasty little cancer cells!!
Radiation affects people differently and also depends on the radiation strength - again she will be extremely tired and she may have skin discomfort or some burning - dont be alarmed the radiation staff are wonderful and they have lots of hints and creams for the skin.
I dont want to detract from this site, but there is also the bcna website (just Google it) which is specifically for Breast Cancer. You may find this extremely helpful - Mind you, in having said that, there are wonderful people on this site too.
It's natural for your mum and you to feel overwhelmed, we all do, regardless of what type of cancer we have. Things will settle down eventually and you will find that if you just 'go with flow' you both will get through this.
I hope all goes well.
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great to hear from you - 1/2 way through cycle 3 of chemo - so all is good. Going down to Melb tomorrow for a couple of days to see little Bailey (cant wait) - I'm sure she has grown a lot over the last couple of weeks. Might be offline for a couple of days -
but I will 'fill you in' when I get back! haha
It was very hard for me when dad died, but time does help to heal things. Now I remember him with such love and pride and remember what a great man he was (I'm biased of course). The saddest part for me is that dad never got to see any of his great g/kids. He adored children and he would have been so proud of all of them - but I think in some way he is looking down and seeing everything (I hope so anyway!)
Please dont put off seeing your dad for too long, if he is going downhill. If you check with the hospital they may be able to give you a gown and a mask to wear whilst you visit dad, or even if you just pop in quickly to see him. Dont expect to see the dad you used to have, I'm sure he will have lost weight and look ill, but just remember, your dad is still the person he was, he may just look different, and he still loves you!!!!
You know what? Dont be afraid to re-evaluate your life - do what you want to do! You will be devastated when your dad dies, there is no denying that, and it will take you a long time to recover from the sadness, but there does come a time when all you remember will be the good times. Dont be afraid to try something new, and if you do and you fail, then you just try again. Nobody will think any the worse of you - we all fail at things some times. If you do start 'something' and your poor dad passes away while you are doing it - then let dad's memory carry you through and just think how proud he would have been when you HAVE succeeded. We all think that our life will stop when our loved one passes, but it doesnt. It just goes on and somehow we pick ourselves up and treasure the memories we have - which no one can take away from us. No matter where you go - your dad will be with you, in your heart!
Please let us know how the party went and enjoy your visit with dad.
Di 🙂 (hugs right back at you lolxx)
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I'm doing OK thanks - 1/2 way through the 3rd cycle, just a bit achey and tired, but apart from that - all is good. I am going to Melb tomorrow to stay with my son/DIL and see little Bailey - I cant wait, I'm sure she has grown over the last couple of weeks. The only bad part is I cant take my little dog Lilly with me - so I have to forego one 'baby' so that I can see the other baby. Never mind, at least I will get lots of hugs and licks when I return home. I do miss her terribly though, I think she is the only thing that keeps me sane in this whole mixed up life I have.
I hope your dad's OK, it was usually around day 3 or 4 that I felt like crap after IV chemo - emotions running riot, crying for no reason and just soooooo tired. Although, I didnt have heart probs, so it is probably worse for your dad. Glad your going down to spend some time with him, it will do you both good. (once you recover from the drive, that is!) Isnt is annoying - there always seems to be a Catch 22 somewhere in our lives - it p..ses me off at times - why cant anything run smoothly?
Great news about being a Godmum - there are still nice things that do happen. haha
Might be offline while in Melb, so if I dont 'speak' with you, enjoy your week with your dad. Stay well and will catch you soon.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.