I reckon it is good that you stayed home from work to look after yourself. I also think that no matter what, the thoughts of cancer will pop up from time to time. The way you react is probably what's more important. Each time you may find you handle it better. You can't deny a reality but you can face it differently. My thoughts only. ... View more

When I had counselling she told me that I could change counsellors if I wanted .Each week I filled out a rating form about my feelings and at the end I had to rate the effectiveness of the sessions. My gp had told me when I find a counselor to change if I wasn't satisfied. If I want more counselling in the future I am able to ask for the same person or a different one. My counsellor gave me practical ways to alter my thinking and therefore behaviour. I must did out the paperwork and let you know what it's called .Then you can check it out. It's time I looked at it all again to keep me on track. I'll post again soon. ... View more

Two years after my diagnosis my sleeping pattern is still bad. In the beginning I spent abot 4 hours each day /night researching the net ,the only place for information. Now I use sites for support and making friends through chatting . It's mostly about cancer and lining with it. I can see that your son doesn't get it .I don't think my 2 do,but we don't talk about it .Maybe they do .I don't know . Mine are 40 and 31. I imagine if it was a daughter you were talking about she would get it. My daughter shared many worries and thoughts and feelings in the early times but I don't talk as much about it now as she has a family of 4 chidren to think about. I still do all I used to do before but the cancer,which is not cureable is often in the back of my mind. It is life changing. This isn't much help .I am trying to say I understand. ... View more

Have you asked the Cancer Council where to get advice? ... View more

You both seem to be doing the best things. Enjoy your holiday .You both deserve it. ... View more

Some people do become angry about having cancer.I only know this from other posts here. I think that anger can sometimes come from fear. It is like a reaction to fear . It is as if to show fear is to show weakness but to let it out as anger appears strong . It's a bit like the idea of being offensive instead of defensive. He may be pushing you away because he is worried that he won't be there for you if he doesn't get better . I don't know,of course, just a thought to consider. I'm not a psychologist . This is just from my own observation and experience. I know this doesn't help you deal with the situation but it may possibly explain it a bit more. I think men are more likely to react this way than women .Women are more likely to cry . Women are more likely to reach out to others for comfort. Your husband needs someone to talk to but it looks like he isn't ready. It's a pity his doctors haven't helped. Maybe his gp would be able to help ,but perhaps you're not able to make any suggestions at this time. I hope someone can offer more help. I can imagine how hurt you must feel even though you understand the reason. ... View more

I spoke to Kate when I was joining this site too. Yes,she is nice. I had said once before somewhere on this site that if there was a like button I'd press it. ... View more

My mum had 7 children 16 and under when my dad was killed by a hit-and -run drunk driver speeding through a red light at a pedestrian crossing. It is very hard to lose your husband and have to raise children without a dad and to be without a husband but somehow you find the strenghth. You must have found it to have come this far . ... View more

Just want to say to you ladies that I can only imagine your pain .Families shouldn't have to go through this. ... View more

I guess it takes a long time to learn to be alone at night. I rang an aunt yesterday going through this. My uncle died 4 months ago and she cries every day and spends every weekend at her daughters' place . She can't even cope with days home alone. It was their 55th wedding anniversary 3 days after he died. A new quilt etc. is good . It can be a bit more feminine instead of unisex. Belated condolences. ... View more