Morning Mary, Just take it dayby day, moment by moment. Once all the appointments settle down and you get into a new routine scheduled around the bl**dy disease, you will find that you wont be so overwhelmed. But you are right, it is very overwhelming and talking about feeling his pain is in no way corny....it is VERY real and we all understand that here. Have you got a special person in your GP that you could talk to, or perhaps see a psychologist. Myhusband and I found great strength and ways of supporting ourselves, each other and our children through some of the challenges we have faced along the way. And I mustsay, communication has been the key. Also when things get tough, its ok to ask for help. I'm in Vic and have had home help/cleaner each time I have had treatment. You guys would be entitled to this too. Might just take the pressure off a little. Even if it as just to have someone do your ironing or wash floors. Every little bit helps. Here's hoping it all settles soon and you can find your feet, your strength and some positive emotions again. Love Michele xx ... View more

Hi Mary, I'm writing to you from the patients point of view. I hope that is ok. Although as the others have said my journey is different to yours too. Esp given that I am female! and well us girls tend to talk better than blokes! My hubby and I have a deal going and that is when he walks in the door after work and asks how my day was, instead of saying ok when its not, I say (or he says if that is the case) "ok but can we talk when the kids go to bed". That way, we both know either one of us needs to talk and or cry. We do this before bed and always talk about these things in the lounge. We never talk about upsetting things in bed, it just doesn't help at all with going to sleep. And My thing with my mum is that if I am allowed to tell her all my worries, fears, sad thoughts, anger and frustrations then she has to do the same with me, she has to tell me all hers. Because the bottom line is Mary, that its not just the patient who has cancer, its all of you. Everyone who is immediate to that person. For me that means its my hubby, my 3 little boys, my mum and stepdad and my 2 beautiful sisters. My world caved in the day I was told the docs were looking for tumors, but so did theirs, and it will never be the same. Life with cancer takes away the life you knew, it now becomes a new life that you have to be able to still try and enjoy, you just have new worries and fears, but you can still create new experiences, dreams and goals. Try not to waste energy on being angry for any reason, just use all that energy to help him get better. I hope I haven't rabbitted on too much. Lots of Hugs to you.Michele xx ... View more

Hi Andrea, I'm sorry he is hurting you. Sometimes the old saying "we always hurt the ones we love" really does ring true. He is probably venting all his anger, sadness, feelings of being helpless for his mum, fear of the unknown with her diagnosis etc all on you because  he deep down knows that you will in the long run, be there to catch him when he falls, and forgive him. I hope he finds it within himself soon to start treating you a little better, but for now I'd say he needs some "time out" and space. Txt every now and then to let him know you are there,, that you care and are there to listen. He will come around. But it will also be an up and down rollercoaster ride along the way, so don't expect him not to vent on you again. Lots of love and Luck. Mihalo ... View more

Hi Monique, Don't know if I can be of any help to you but I am the "patient" in the same scenario. I am 31 and have bowel cancer that has spread to my lungs. My husband and I have 3 children aged 7, 5 and 2. He and I had a great talk the other night as I was feeling very disheartened with our relationship and how he is behaving and how he is wth the kids etc. So he finally opened up and told me all his fears and worries etc which I had interpretted completely wrong, (or maybe he was miscommunicating). Anyway, we are now communicating better and I can help to ease some of his worries, not all of them of course, but some. Please email me...message me...anything, if you'd like to chat more. I hope I can give you some hope and strength. By the way, I was diagnosed almost 18 months ago and given 6 months, stay strong and positive, I truely believe this is what has got me through and will continue for a long time yet...if I have anything to do with it 🐵 Love Michele ... View more

Hi sweetie, Oh I just know how you were feeling about your dad and I hope you got to have a talk to him so you could tell each other how much you love each other and how much you will miss each other. I was 15 when my dad died rapidly of liver cancer and he too was just a waife, and was halucinating, from memory it was the morphine. My dad also waited to see my sister for her 13th b'day. We lived with mum and he hadn't seen her. We went and saw him after school on a wed night and as my mum and I held him, we told him to go to sleep as he was so exhausted. He did, and never woke up. I am so pleased to this day we held him and we were the last people he saw.....that memory will live with me forever. I hope that next Tues is a wonderful celebration of his life and that you can laugh and cry about all the wonderful and funny things he did.   Lots of love and strength to you sweetie. Love Mihalo ... View more

Hi Kaza, I was diagnosed at 29 as stage 4 (or stage D dukes). Had bleeding symptoms during my 2nd pregnancy at 26 which was probably a polyp rather than what the docs thought was haemroids higher up at that stage. Then the bleeding was intermittent between 2nd and 3rd pregnancies and by the time my 3rd baby was 5 months old I was having breathing difficulties which was my first symptom. Well now that we know what the problem is, there were other symptoms that were not picked up on because they were masked by pregnancy basically. They say children should have colonoscopies 10 yrs earlier than when I was diagnosed, which would make them 19, but because I was stage 4 by then they are recommending they have them from 16. I'm sure they will understand, and my colonoscopy was not traumatic at all. They will be closely watched by the doctors though and I'm sure they will be made very aware of ALL the symptoms. Must dash....kids are hungry!!! Cheers Mihalo   ... View more

Hi Kaza, I was diagnosed last sept, 5 days before my 30th b'day with the lung tumors. Wasn't until I went in for a colonoscopy, bronchoscopy and laproscopy on the 24th of Sept (the day after my son's 4th b'day) that they found the primary in the bowel. No scans showed this up, not even the PET scan. They removed 70cm of the large intestine and 16 lymph nodes of which 9 were diseased. So that came as a shock as I said none of that showed up on scans. So we hope they got it all. Thanks for the info on the support group only I'm in Vic. The cancer council site for vic doesn't have a forum like this so thats why I have begun posting here, but thanks anyway. I don't know yet if I do carry the gene's I am in the process of having it all done, will keep you updated. Cheers Mihalo ... View more

Hi Kaza, I am just in the beginnings of having testing done. I had someone test one of my tumors last yr to determine if it was indeed HNPCC and it came back as 99% not. So I am confident it won't be genetic. This is little relief to me for my children, however they will have to have colonoscopies from the time they are 16-18yrs old as I was 29 when diagnosed with stage 4.....very young I know, I haven't met anyone else yet on these forums. Have read a few cases on american sites. I hope all is well for you at the moment. Cheers Mihalo ... View more