Hi Jo Avastin prevented growth for 3 months for Lorraine She had few side reactions so I suppose I can say some extra quality time (quality time being maintaining how she was with a GBM tumour at that stage) Geoff ... View more

Hi Jan Big Hugs Geoff XOXO ... View more

Thanks jan As you as said DEFINITELY I expect a full and detailed report of the Saturday lake happenings. It is written Hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi Jan Have you got yourself out as yet? Re: inaccessibility - Lorraine's mind deteriorated just after our European trip - from December where she was just starting to say some slightly inappropriate things and ruffled some other people's feathers. She seemed to become more aware of what she was saying and pulled back. Some months later she talked less with others. Approximately May, her language became garbled and I had no idea what she was trying to say. She started to become quieter as a result. Later she would not focus on what I asked with closed questions repeated up to 10 times - she just drifted off(She was a highly intelligent woman) It was hard. And now it is so hard for you being in the mist of this "experience" too. With Lorraine I reasoned that the tumor &/or the swelling partially blocks then slowly totally blocked her attention and language center of her brain. This helped me in my understanding of her tumor and my ability to relate with her. So her conscious slowly left me till there was her shell. Now I ask what physical part is the essence of Lorraine as she died/disintegrated over that last 10 months, what is consciousness, where is her soul, where is my woman. Biggest hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi Jan NZ went to Wellington Hospital today with Lorraine's sister for her chemo appointment, seeing the chairs, the equipment, the noise of the ward - some of the experiences come back Lorraine went the same way as Terese experienced with her husband, Stuart(see thread - GBM, time is getting shorter). The urinary and bowel issues, getting to the toilet is difficult to deal with. Physically it was hard enough for me - getting Lorraine to the toilet in time, then as her physical abilities further declined a catheter helped but the cleaning up after defecating along with moving her around a bed to change the linen (especially after she had the bowel blockages and in pain), it so much worse for a woman to do. The loss of communication - what we had - also gone. I continued to talk to her in the later stages while she was full of morphine, played some of her music, asked for forgiveness for my shortcomings (I have a flirtatious nature) for any any pain. Lorraine was also a shell of what she was and became a body. It is so hard to watch Hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi Jan Sounds really hard for you, and especially frustrating not being able to get out, John being so needy. With what you wrote I thought John was getting close to the end, my experience is too limited to comment. My anxiety went into overdrive each new stage Lorraine declined into, so its a bit of reverse situation to yours. I am with Lorraine's sister in NZ for 2 weeks, its good/comforting to be here with others. I see or hear things Lorraine used to talk of so my grief comes and goes - its less intense as time goes. (rolled up cut grass bales scattered over a farmers field - she used to call them elephant turds). Hugs Geoff ... View more

Min Tucked up in bed at 10.30 - I assume that is PM not AM time. If so sounds like an ideal time to me to be tucked up in bed (10.30PM). Thus you appear to be of generation that relates to having tight skin syndrome (I am of a looser skin variety):-) Glad that you enjoyed your time away - some memories to keep as you go through the days ahead. Getting agitated, does has he underlying pain? Hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi Jan How are you coping today? Hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi jan Oncologist at hospital said Lorraine could be 2 weeks to 2 months. Lorraine lasted 2 months. So between Lorraine and Nat's husband its difficult to say how long he may linger. Get some respite ASAP before he gets worse so that you can cope. Your emotions are being taken to extreme levels living in that confined room. You need to take charge for both of you Hugs Geoff ... View more

Hi jan52 When Lorraine died, I had feelings of relief,that that stage is over - the extreme stress of waiting for something that cant be changed. Then the move into the funeral stage; arrangements to be made (try to organize as much as possible so that you don't have to make big decisions about the funeral, (if you have one) and if and what you and others may want to say at the eulogy feelings of grief rawness anger, resentment, sadness of the good qualities, guilt, they are all there to be experienced at different stages and times. The good times are the ones that predominate though Wow that loss of that time you were planning - Its a grief and loss thing in miniature to have just some time to yourself. I would feel devastated too Hugs Geoff non-Hodgkin lymphoma ... View more