September 2011
I had a stroke (TIA) the day after my last day of radiation 1 month ago. My family went into total panic mode, very protective and I couldn't drive for the month (legal condition). I know I have it so good compared with so many others but right now just need to vent a little. Am so pissed off with the TIA - it was like an incredible double whammy. The burns from the radiation continued to get way worse while I was in hospital with the TIA and for a week and a half after finishing the radiation before turning the corner and beginning to heal. Today they are great. It felt like I couldn't concentrate on getting over the radiation because of the TIA and the fatigue was just phenomenal. My concentration and memory, initially, were quite scaringly poor. I quite like thinking, and to have something happen to my brain is very scary. One month later and I begin my work again tomorrow which I love. Everybody is very wary and worried about me going back to work which means I can't express my concerns except here. I guess it's normal to have concerns but it's a little hard. I worry about having another TIA, cancer coming back in another place and more aggressively and whether I'll be able to work well tomorrow. I need to be able to concentrate and remember things which I should be able to do but because I'm worried about it, am not sure I'll be able to do it well enough. Have been really looking forward to tomorrow and having my freedom and independence back but am getting so nervous and teary. I wish I could just shut off my feelings. Have been having nightmares about my body literally falling apart and then dying.
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September 2011
Hang in there John and keep us posted. Hopefully there's some good news tucked in there.
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September 2011
Geez Ben,
No belly button, checked for leaks, filled inside and out with metal - there must be some cool name for you 🙂 You're gonna have a pretty cool scar too - hope you've got a good story worked out for it.
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September 2011
Hi CJF,
You've been on my mind ever since I saw your post. I was just wondering if ringing the cancer council could help at all. I think you can do it anonymously and they just may have some suggestions or see things a little clearer for you. I can really relate to the bit about being angry at a body that lets you down. I am so pissed off with mine it's not funny. I don't trust it and am now always waiting for another thing to go wrong with it.
Like Zen said, hang in there and good luck. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
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September 2011
This sounds absolutely insane! I can't imagine what you and your poor family are going through. another option you might want to think about is contacting a current affairs program who can often make a change to someone's situation.
Let us know how you get on. Very much in my thoughts and prayers.
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September 2011
This sounds absolutely insane! I can't imagine what you and your poor family are going through. another option you might want to think about is contacting a current affairs program who can often make a change to someone's situation.
Let us know how you get on. Very much in my thoughts and prayers.
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September 2011
Hang in there John. Once you know one way or another you can begin to deal with it - way better than not knowing. Keep us posted and good luck. Will be thinking of you.
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September 2011
Wow! I am EXACTLY the same! Thanks so much for putting all this in words.
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September 2011
Rodney, I am so so sorry. Sometimes life is unbelievably cruel. Benny also had a wonderful friend and knew what true love was.
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September 2011
Totally agree with everything said. I've found it way easier to write and post here than to talk to most people. I've also found with some people who've had cancer, they put you in their exclusive little club when you talk to them face to face whereas it doesn't feel that way here. Even though everyone's been touched by cancer on this site, it doesn't 'feel' like an exclusive club. I feel normal here, it's just that I've had cancer and people understand what it's like especially the emotional side.
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