What a wonderful day for you and your family. Love is the most amazing and powerful miracle of all. Stay happy, Dotty ... View more

Hi,I am a Cairns local and my husband has a private medical oncologist who is excellent,he had to be referred to the Cairns Base Hospital to have radiation treatment at the new (only a few years old)Liz Plummer Cancer Centre.A few years ago he would have had to go to Townsville Public Hospital or Brisbane.When he had a PET scan he was sent to the Mater in Townsville instead of Brisbane because they got the new PET scan machines for the far north just before christmas 2011.The surgeon saw him at Townsville Hospital which is a fabulous hospital and he would have been operated on if the tests had of been negative.The Cairns Base hospital only have two oncologists at this stage 1 medical and 1 radiologist,both very good.My husband and I have been treated very well by the public hospitals in Cairns and Townsville and we are so grateful. We are more than happy to help you with friendship and information. Hope your partner finds work in the mines and no matter where you live in the far north I reckon you will both love it. Dotty ... View more

John I am really feeling for you,it just isn't fair. Scream into a pillow it muffles the sound,that's what I do when I get bad news my husband Rex does not hear me and I am glad,the last thing in the world I want to do is upset him. Rex is having a break from treatment after he was told his 1st line chemo therapy had failed,like your wife we could see he was getting worse but was told it was the side effects of the drugs!!! He has lost interest in most things and his cognitive thinking is terrible. We also prefer to wait until we see his oncologists to get results. What a nightmare ride you having,take it as easy as you can John and thank goodness you are there for your wife. A big hug (((((((())))))) coming your way from me. Dotty ... View more

Hi Maya, although I don't know anything about oligodendroglioma I care for my husband who has terminal inoperable small lung cancer that metasised to other parts of his body,mainly his brain. He suffered from dreadful seizures and will be on anti-seizure medication for the rest of his life and also takes strong pain killing medications to help relieve his pain.He had palliative radiation treatment to reduce the brain tumour and this seems to have helped him a bit.His 1st line chemo treatment failed and we are devastated,he is seeing the radio-oncologist to see if he can have palliative radiation on his chest and spine. This cancer journey is incredibly difficult for those who are close to the sufferer.Although my husband has deteriated to the stage of nearly giving up all I can do is make sure his Quality of Life is met by his standards and wishes not anyone elses.At the moment he is so tired he has lost interest in most things including having a beer or two each day which I find so very sad.I sit with him and hold his hand and gently stroke his forehead and tell him how much he is loved. You can only do what you can so don't forget to take care of yourself including crying or expressing yourself when needed. Gently gently does it. Dotty ... View more

Hi tiki91, Wow!!!your post has bought me to tears because my grandsons have been trying to express what you are going through and if it's ok with you I want to show them your post. My husband (their grandfather) is terminally ill too and has been going through similar behaviour as your grandfather is.He has small cell lung cancer which has metastised through his blood to other areas in his body,including his brain.He has had radiation to shrink the brain tumour and chemo which is his 1st line treatment for his chest has failed.We are all broken hearted and have the palliative care team visit him next wednesday. One thing he will know for sure is that you love your grandfather and that is such a precious gift to give to anyone. You are so brave and honest to share your sad and scarey experience. No one knows what the future will hold but whatever it is you know within your heart that you were there for not only your grandfather but for your nana during this time,bless you for that. You must remember too! that the last couple of years you have been living your own life and I am sure your grandfather understands that so please give yourself permission to take that 'guilt' off your shoulders. Take care and please let us know how you get on and if I have your permission to share this with my grandsons aged 22,19,17,14 years old. Dotty. ... View more

I am so grateful that Cancer Connections exist.I have only been a member for a short time but have benefited so much already. Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary and keep the good work going we need you. ... View more

Hi chrissst's,I just wanted to validate your post and to say what you are going through is just as important as anyone else who has cancer.Your experience and upcoming chemo treatment is not a fraud,it is happening to you and I feel for you. This site is for everyone to share so please don't think of yourself as being a fraud..it is not a competition to see who has the worse kind of cancer...Cancer strikes in many different ways and we as members support each other through our individual trials. Of course it's hard to stay positive when you are going through such discomfort.. Good luck with your chemo and be gentle with yourself. Dotty ... View more

Dear John, give yourself permission to be human and feel and express your emotions as they arise,as long as you are in a safe place to do so.Being a carer to our loved ones is such a tough job because we are emotionally involved. I really hope you can talk to your own doctor or the palliative care team for some support for yourself. Your dog sounds like a beautiful animal who loves taking you for a walk...sometimes John it is our weakness which is our strength because to be strong all the time is putting a heap load of pressure on ourselves and when we do that our expectations come crashing down. Be gentle on yourself. Dotty. ... View more

I relate to what you are going through with your wife,it sounds like you are describing my husband of 43 years.His chemo did not work and he has been arguing with his oncologist and can get very nasty with me when he gets confused.It sure does hurt but I know it's the dreaded disease and the medication that's doing this to him.He is coming off steroids He watches the time every minute or so and has started to do this during the night and forgets he has eaten.He shuffles from his arm chair to the computer where he has a game set up and that's it,he never finishes it.He is also a paper shuffler trying to get it in order but then forgets. He is so wobbly on his feet and refuses a walker if I reach out for him he gets upset and accuses me of fussing so I hope the palliative care team can convince him to have one,he agreed to see the team next wednesday.I don't want him to fall and break a bone. Like your wife,my husband has a fine intelligent and quick mind,it breaks my heart when he is unable to remember what happened a few minutes ago.His short term memory is terrible. It takes him hours to finish a cup of coffee because he thinks he has already drank it and then demands to have another one every 10 minutes.I heat what he has left in his cup in the microwave and he feels he is getting a fresh cup (the coffee is only approx 10 minutes old)but I do this for my own sanity. I will be so thankful to get some respite from professionals as I only worry my 'guts' out when I leave him with friends. I am glad your wife appreciated the palliative care team. My heart goes out to you. Gently gently. Dotty ... View more

I am feeling so sad for you and your family.As you said "it's just not right" His family may regret not communicating with you in a loving way and not hearing that you were planning a memorial for them to attend.Be kind to yourself and stay safe on your trip back to the east coast. Give yourself permission to talk to Les,he is still your best friend and his spirit will never die. Gentle hugs to you from me. (((Gypsy1946))) Dotty ... View more