Oh Nashjo, I am so sorry you lost your father but also that you experienced such a traumatic time at his death. It is understandable that it would affect you so greatly and certainly for a long time. I do think you would benefit from grief counselling as you may well be suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). It is good that you have finally opened up about this as keeping it locked in is doing you damage - and also to your relationship. Grief is such a personal thing and people experience it in different ways. Six months is a very short time in the grief process, I believe. After my first husband died in '93 I needed help with counselling almost two years later. You have opened up on here - can you open up to your Mum, your older brother and any other family or close friends as well? It may be exactly what your Mum needs, too. Good blessings and warm hugs of comfort, Pamela. ... View more

Hi Nickole I posted the following comment on another topic but I think it is appropriate here as well: “There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t any more, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.” I lost some old friends and gained some new ones, but reconciled with some estranged family members, so am very blessed. Just before Christmas the owner of the local pharmacy and a staff member delivered a plate of home-made slices to me because they said "I'd been having a tough time lately". They of course knew because I got all my med's there. Acquaintances and at times total strangers have touched my heart with their kindness and thoughtfulness. "Many people will walk in and out of you life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." I really feel sorry for people who have no sense of compassion for others. And when we are struggling to cope with our situations (either self or a loved one) we can't afford to expend energy supporting those appear not to care. Good blessings to you, your hubby and family, Pamela :-) ... View more

Hi Anne-marie They knocked it's ugly head off the first time it popped up, so there is a good chance they will do the same again. It is good that your husband is keeping well otherwise. Good blessings and strength to you both, Pamela ... View more

Dear John My heart aches for you in your pain and grief - I am so sorry for the loss of your dear wife and loved one. When two become one and one dies, the one left feels only half there - so lost and empty. Time passes and wounds turn to scars, no longer bleeding but aching and painful with only memories. My first husband died suddenly in '93 aged 49 after 24 years of marriage. Although life has moved on and I am happy now, tugs on the scars of loss still bring a tear. Offering you prayers and warm (((hugs))) of comfort, Pamela. ... View more

Hi Sunny Thank you for your kind words. I am gaining so much from people on this site, including putting my own situation in perspective and seeing the strength of those who are bearing so much, either physical, emotional or mental. Prayers and good blessings for your health and well-being, too. Warm (((hugs))), Pamela :-) ... View more

Hi Maggie Mae You have made a good start. There is more to this site than I am familiar with and I tend to go round in circles at times. Prayers and good blessings for 21st, Pamela :-) ... View more

Hi Samex I find my faith is not something that I fall back on in tough times but a core strength that is with me always. Being conscious of it in the good times removes the fear that future bad times would otherwise bring. Good blessings to you and all on CC. :-) ... View more

After my op, I noticed posters behind the toilet doors in John Hunter Hospital, showing the best position, using a footstool :-) Unfortunately, no footstools were provided 😞 ... View more

Hi Glenys Is there a hospital near you with a hydrotherapy pool? You may be able to get a referral from your doctor and use the pool at no cost. Your son may be angry with the cancer rather than with you personally, even though that anger gets focused on you. Your illness has probably shaken his world and left him scared for you without his being able to do anything about it. Can you (or a friend or family member) talk to him gently about why he is reacting as he is? He may need some counselling to understand himself. My main support person was terrified throughout my experience, whereas I was fairly calm. I took him to my counselling session more for his sake than mine. I find a teaspoon of honey at night helps me sleep well and have suggested it to many people - only works for some though! Sweet dreams to you :-) ... View more

Hi Rubes I can so relate to that! I did not even get a sponge bath in the first two days after my op, due to short-staffing. When I was finally helped to the shower with a bag over my arm splint, 2 drains and a nasal feeding tube, I was left to fend for myself. Very difficult but oh, so good! For the rest of my stay (11 days) my friend/carer/house-mate took over showering me and included the most welcome hair-wash. We met on-line and he followed my struggle to get treatment in the country. After my diagnosis, he moved me to his place and my 90 year old mum to an excellent aged care facility nearby. And he continues to be a most wonderful support and source of strength to me. It was his attitude towards my facial disfigurement that enabled me to stand tall in public when my doctor had confirmed my question 'Am I likely to scare kids in the street?' with 'Probably!' After doing so much for me in the early stages, it was a little difficult for him to let go when I started to do things, as he was concerned I would hurt myself. Without him, I wouldn't even be here - he's such a blessing in my life 🙂 ... View more