G'day Harker Prostate vs brain size - the crossover to the former being larger than the latter can arise from two effects: enlargement of the prostate or shrinkage of the brain. Seriously however - is the person you call 'Hasty' a true physician or is that a generic term you are using? The problem here is that urologists are trained as surgeons, think like surgeons and act like surgeons, as a gross generalisation. There is the truism that if the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail! A rebore may be the most appropriate treatment for you, provided other treatments have also been considered. One of my GP's told me the other day how he has a huge prostate - benign prostatic hyperplasia as the cause - and that he deals with it with a range of drugs. Eventually he will need a rebore, but not yet. In many cases some minor lifestyle changes can bring about a huge improvement. The problem is that there are side effects that often men do not get told about and you are a relatively young person. It might be worth your while looking at the prostatehealth.org.au website, specifically at http://www.prostatehealth.org.au/quickdips1.htm and following though some of the references there. I'm deliberately putting this on the public website, as there are a lot of other blokes out there, ant their partners, who need to know more about these things. Cheers Sailor An incorrectly identified mark is a hazard, not an aid, to navigation. Alton B. Moody ... View more

Hi CATS Many years ago I sat and listened to a lady pain specialist give a lecture to postgraduate nurses, and the first slide she had had in large letters "YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DENY ANOTHER'S PAIN". I have a son who suffers chronic neuropathic pain that has basically ruined a lot of his life. Many many professionals denied his pain, or accused him of being a junkie and wanting drugs. Professionals, like surgeons and triage nurses have treated him appallingly, so I get angry, very angry when I hear what you have been told. That is why I made sure that I was at the pain summit held earlier this year to get a better deal for those who suffer pain for whatever reason. It is irrelevant whether it is in your mind or not, YOU ARE IN PAIN, and no surgeon or otherwise has the right to deny that. Pain treatment - yes cognitive behaviour therapy does have a role in pain management, but that doesn't say your pain is in your mind. What it is seeking to do is to train your mind to deal with the pain messages differently. There are main ways of dealing with pain and one of the things everyone should realise is that if things like analgesics and anti-inflammatories no longer work it is OK to use things like opiates and YOU WILL NOT GET ADDICTED. Pain is the perfect antidote to the addictive properties of opiates and provided the pain specialists get it right you can walk round with a huge amount of opiates controlling your pain and live normally. My son does just that - well his normal is a bit different to my normal but that is another matter. What caused his pain a car accident and bad pain management following his successful surgical repairs that then went from acute to chronic pain. Just the thing that I learnt at the pain summit should not happen. So go back to your surgeon and tell him you would like to consult a pain management specialist and don't let him fob you off with an anaethetist. AS my partner has just commented - Your surgeon has a lot to learn. cheers Sailor. Any fool can carry on, but a wise man knows how to shorten sail in time. Joseph Conrad ... View more

Hi Glendalee Not surprising - it is the most important thing in your life just now, so of course it is pretty much all that you think about. So unless you feel it is becoming obsessive don't worry. cheers Sailor A collision at sea can ruin your entire day. Attrib Thucydides, 5th Century BC ... View more

Hi Willow The life sentence of cancer - but isn't it great that it is Bursitis! It really puts it in perspective to be able to say that. Bursitis is not pleasant, can be quite painful and debilitating, but compared to cancer returning is is almost worth celebrating. What a relief! Yes that is the advantage of a site like this - we all know where you are coming from and have been where you are. Take car Sailor An incorrectly identified mark is a hazard, not an aid, to navigation. Alton B. Moody ... View more

Dear Jewel I have been tied up most of today with various medical procedures and feel as if I am out on probation just at the moment. That didn't stop me thinking about you and your family today. I don't know what time Mark's funeral was, but I hope and pray that it was a time of good grief, good mourning and that you and your children were able to say farewell appropriately. Yes this awful disease can claim its victims very quickly when the cancer is so advanced and we watch helplessly wishing in vain it would stop. The next few weeks and months are going to be so difficult for you and the children as you adjust. Remember there is a lot of support available on this site and lots of helpful suggestions have been made to others. Have a hunt round for some of them. Take care and take good care of Mark's memory for your childrens sake. Regards Sailor For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. Kahlil Gibran ... View more

G'day Sally Perfectly normal. The reality is that the majority of cancer patients feel depressed at some stage and a fair number of them do need treatment for it. Other strange things can happen, like exisiting phobias that we live with get exagerated. I have always turned a bit green with heights and never liked being in enclosed dark places - now I cannot cope with heights and really panic in enclosed dark places. Some people get the classic symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder - if you think about it is it any wonder after what some of us have ben through? So it is perfectly normal. What to do about it. Well blogging here is a good start. Talkiong to other people is also good. If you feel it warrants it, talk to your GP about it - there is no shame in having a course of anti-depressants. You may even find it helpful to see a counsellor and your GP can help there as there is a scheme whereby you cna see a psychologoist and medicare will contribute. Also rememebr the cancer helpline 13 11 20 - it has been the lifeline for many of us. Mez is right when she says there is a new normal to be found - we cannot go back to where we were before all of this and being in that transition to finding a new normal can be pretty uncomfortable, particualrly as all those around us expect us to pick up where we left off before all this started. So take care and keep on bloging here. Cheers Sailor ... View more

Hi CATS There is only one Eric Bogle and he has written and performed many great songs, one of them, being Safe in the Harbour. I like it so have quoted bits of it from time to time. The complete lyrics are a bit too long to put here, but the first verse and chorus are: Have you stood by the ocean on a diamond-hard morning And felt the horizon stir deep in your soul? Watched the wake of a steamer as it cut thru blue water And been gripped by a fever you just can't control? O to throw off the shackles and fly with the seagulls To where green waves tumble before a driving sea wind Or to lie on the decking on a warm summer evening Watch the red sun fall burning beneath the earth's rim But to every sailor comes time to drop anchor Haul in the sails and make the lines fast You deep water dreamer, your journey is over You're safe in the harbor at last Cheers Sailor ... View more

Hi Bigmumma Fortunately it hasn't happened to me, but it does unfortunately happen a lot. It has just happened to some friends of mine where the husband has a serious cancer that is currently in remission and his wife of thirty years has left him - can't cope with the cancer! Another friend had the same thing happen when he was diagnosed with cancer several years ago. So like you there are left with a double whammy, dealing with the cancer and feeling alone and let down by your partner. I don't know of any statistics but hear a lot of stories similar to yours. Don't be afraid to seek counseling - use the cancer helpline 13 11 20. Don't be afraid to use resources available in the community - local counseling centres, or seeing a psychologist through your GP. Take care Sailor Me howling blasts drive devious, tempest-tossed, / Sails ripped, seams opening wide, and compass lost. William Cowper ... View more

Hi CATS There is a really great article out there called "The Median is not the Message". It was written by the late Stephen J Gould, who survived twenty years with mesothelioma which has a median life expectancy of eight months. Just Google "Median is not the Message" and you will come up with lots of copies of it. Now back to reality. It is great to hope for another 12 - 15 years so that you can see your nephew and niece reach eighteen or twenty one. It might happen and I hope it does. The reality is that it is unlikely, so what other more realistic mileposts can you put in place? They are six now so they must have started school. So maybe a more realistic goal is to see them finish primary school - that is quite a transition for them. Or to see them achieve something that they want to achieve at their age. Smaller steps but ones that are big for them. I'm in much the same boat with my grandchildren. It is very unlikely that I will see them reach eighteen or twentyone. What I have told my oncologists is that I want to be alive, with a good quality of life, long enough for them to know what a grandfather is and to be able to do grandfather things with them that they will remember. In the meantime lets all hope that the Xeloda works in controlling the mets. Cheers Sailor Ah to throw off the shackles and fly with the seagulls To where the green waves tumble before a driving sea wind. Eric Bogle, Safe in the Harbour ... View more