Hi Val Thanks for your response. None of us are going to be tracking and scrutinising your posts and as far as I am aware no-one passes judgement. As you say we have different reasons for being here and we shouldn't be judgemental. Sometimes people do put up a post and there is no apparent response in the short term. Then it will start and people respond. Sometimes you see a post that has been dealt with exhaustively and you wish people would look around the site and see if someone else has a similar problem. Often I wait to see if someone has picked up a post and responded and usually someone has. So yes we all have the right to be in our own comfort zones and none of us should feel guilty about our responding or non-responding. Cheers Sailor Men who cannot enter into the mind of the sea, cannot for the same reason enter into the mind of ships. John Ruskin ... View more

G'day silly Isn't it great about this site, we can dump here an awful lot of what we can't dump elsewhere. Cancer changes everything. Who you are, your relationships, your friends your family. Sometimes the mind numbing computer games are the only thing that keep us sane. The rest of the family just can't understand why I use them for that, but they are mind numbing and maybe that's the point. So go for it - go easy on your best friend. I need to do the same. cheers Sailor Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port and the other was an atrocious liar. Don Bamford ... View more

Hi Wren Thank you for posting. As Harker says you have a nice conversational style of writing, but you also have retained your sense of humour. I can understadn the shock of it all - that happenes to all of us. One day you are a normal person, sometimes without symptoms of any kind. The next your are being treated for cancer. It's a bit of a life shattering change. Don't feel you have to be strong. It is veery easy to end up in the 'prison of the positive'. Everyone tells you to be strong and rewards you for being positive, when the reality is we can sometimes feel absolutely awful and we have a right to feel that. A friend of mine tells me that the best advice she was given when she got her diagnosis was to go out into the middle of the backyard and cry until there were no more tears and then cry some more. Yes take one day at a time. thre will be days when you feel great and days when you feel awful - take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to write heaps and put it on this site. That is what it is for. It is a great way to express what you feel and you don't have to apologise later. Take care Sailor ... View more

Hi Albert and Steve You can go public at anytime you want. Even though you are booked for surgery next week, you can ask to be referred to the urology clinic at your local public hospital. At the public hospital, as you have private health cover you can still be a private patient, but your out of pocket expenses will be less and if anything goes wrong you have all the back-up. Some of the worst care I got was in a small private hospital - the food was great. The best care I got was in a large public hospital - the food was awful but I was on a bland diet! When I've compared notes with other long term cancer people they have had similar experiences. A couple of years back a study was done on the pathways between public and private cancer care. It found that lots of people cross over from public to private and from private to public in the course of their treatment. Myriad ways of doing so. The report can be found at http://www.nemics.org.au/Display.aspx?tabid=2734 Above all ask questions - never stop asking questions. Remember you are the one with the cancer, you are the one that has to live with the outcomes. If you have concerns, ring the helpline 13 11 20, ask to speak with someone from Cancer Connect who haas had testicular cancer. Cheers Sailor Although it smacks of seamanlike efficiency; to say that we got our anchor and sailed out is not strictly accurate. It leaves much unsaid. H. W. Tilman ... View more

G'day Teacake - now that brings back memories of special moments as a child. The bit off the roast leg of lamb, down the end right on the bone, sometimes crunchy and so full of flavour. Then getting to chew the bone of the leg after all the meat had been served hot for Sunday dinner, cold for Monday tea and then sliced up for sandwiches for the rest of the week. Almost as food as getting to lick the beaters when a cake was prepared or cream whipped. Use to fight my sister for that one! Those of course were the days of everything being made with butter, lots of eggs, courtesy of the backyard chooks, sponge cakes and cream. I don't think margarine was allowed in the house - after all we had to support those dairy farmers. All fruit from those backyard trees was shared between neighbours and vice versa so the cellar was always full of bottled fruit in Vacola jars, and numerous pots of jam. We had seven prolific plum trees and I don't think I can contemplate plum jam fifty years later. Dinner was always three course - dessert often preserved fruit, or fruit pies with cream or custard. Lots of memories - good ones. The counter balance is that although it was called good healthy food. My father had his fatal heart attack at aged 61! Sailor ... View more

Hi Kitkat6478 Basically a Stoma is an extra opening that they put in with a collection bag when they have to remove the bladder, or significant bits of the bowel. There are quite a few organisations out there that offer really good advice and help including specialist nursing help and good practical support. they are collectively covered by the Australian Council of Stoma Associations - http://www.australianstoma.com.au/ I don't have one, but have from time to time been confronted with the [possibility and so found out as much as possible. Regards Sailor ... View more

Hi there exhausted 8 months in with a partner with GBM you have a right to be exhausted, sad and angry. I don't have a brain tumour. I know people who have and continue to keep going several years in. I also have had friends who have been carers for people with a GBM and they all tell the same experience - exhausted, sad and in some cases angry. You do need to get some support for yourself - it is out their but you do need to hut for it. When your exhausted that can be difficult. Start with the Cancer Helpline 13 11 20. In some states there is a Carers Cancer Connect to put you in touch with others in a similar situation. There are also organisations that do provide respite. I can remember one of my friends talking about how much of a relief that was when her partner agreed that she needed some respite and she was able to take it form the organisation offering. Ask to talk with the social worker at the treating hospital for your partner. Just a few suggestions, made a bit in the abstract as I am not in your shoes. Take Care Sailor ... View more

Hi Governor You are going through a lot just at the moment. Cancer is an awful disease as it, and the side effects of the treatment can change a person totally. It certainly messes up the finances. You may need to consider financial counseling and it is worth talking to your superannuation people and to centrelink about his and your options. It will fall on you however, as it is clear that your husband at present cannot do this. You need to have some support yourself and it is definitely worth ringing the cancer helpline 13 11 20 and talk to them about your issues. It might be worth contacting Carer's Australia as well - www.carersaustralia.com.au/ . All of us in this area find that at times we need some counseling - have a talk to your GP because you can get this on medicare both for yourself and for your husband. It is also worth talking to your oncologist - if a person is terminally ill, i.e. if their normal prognosis is that they will not live for longer than a year, then they can access superannuation tax free. If they live longer than a year, or if they respond to new treatment, they do not have to pay it back. Hope this helps Regards Sailor I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full. Arthur Ashe ... View more

Allicat You are not a horrible person, but a person who is going through all the normal emotions of cancer and cancer treatment. Yes there are times when cancer makes us the centre of attention and sometimes in this rotten journey that is a small compensation. So don't go getting the guilts over those feelings. Be thankful that your experience prompted another person to go and get checked out before it was too late. You are brave, you have managed your cancer well and you can be proud of that. Sail well! Sailor All boats seem crowded when there are more than two people aboard. Anon ... View more

That is fantastic news. It is a pity that the Immigration Department Bureaucracy put you through all this unnecessary stress, but congratulations to the Minister for intervening. Pity he couldn't be more humane about those on Christmas Island, Curtin and Villawood. In your case it is good news and we all hope things turn out well for you. cheers Salior ... View more