About AmandaC

AmandaC

Sham, Thanks for your reply I really feel like the only person in the world with a crap mum and MIL most of the time. While I am not happy someone else goes through the same stuff its nice to know I am not alone. My MIL always tells me her son got cancer because he had to look after me when I was sick and that he stuck by me which is good for a young man to do...WTF!!!!!! I can feel the rage burning again I have to stop myself. I guess the good thing is our kids have loving devoted parents and that is so important, our kids don't dwell on our lack of energy or when we are sick they think of all the great things we do and cherish the time we spend with them. So I guess our parents and in laws are the ones who loose, they miss out on being a part of their very important lives. Thanks you for sharing your story with me, I have spent the last few days in a complete haze of anxiety/depression about it all I am feeling a little better that someone herd my story.

AmandaC

I just spent the weekend with my Mum for her birthday, it really was like spending the weekend with a complete stranger. She has only seen my boys twice this year not including the weekend, she never calls…she is just never here. We felt like a nuisance and my 3 ½ year old kept asking to go home, I really feel like I can’t put him through it anymore. Its bad enough my MIL comes up most Sundays and ignores my son and tells him to be quiet she came to see his daddy, I just feel so angry right now! When I got sick I can barely remember a moment when she spoke to me or came to visit or helped me at all. I had to wait 5 months after surgery for treatment and the only person I knew I could stay with in Sydney was my Mum, so I did it. I think it was the most time I had spent with her in 9 months or more. She was hardly ever home anyway…when I had to go to the hospital for RAI she just dropped me off to the waiting room with my bags and left. I am struggling with all of this I can’t understand how a mother can be this way to her child and grandchildren in turn. I am a mum and I would not leave my children side, I would respect there journey, adore their children and make an effort! I just had to get that off my chest, I admit very publicly; but I think in order for me to move forward I need to get this emotional baggage out there so that I can move on from it. I am sick of the all consuming ridiculousness of my family, they alone have made my journey prolonged and difficult. I am hoping putting this out there might enable me to get a different perspective on the last 3 years, that my journey will suddenly progress into the place I need to go.

AmandaC

Isn't it amazing how simple the test we require are yet they are overlooked. It makes me so mad when I think about how much the medical system have let us down...these are people we have to trust they are experts! I am glad to hera your doing well though 🙂

AmandaC

Samex, I think we all live with the fear of reoccurance, but assure you as time goes on the fear is less often and less intense. In saying that if I get a cold or sore throat I feel the fear rising; and in my 2nd pregnancy I lost my voice for 3 months and I thought OMG the cancer has come back. Well I actually had cancer in my first pregnancy so it was association really. On a day to day basis I feel more comfortable with where I am at and am finding myself much more relaxed in my own body, I almost feel I have reclaimed it. I am 3 years down the track and I do believe time is the key, the closer I am come to my 5 year mark the more I think I can do this. I am never afraid to go to the GP though if I don't feel 100%, I never take the risk of holding off. In my first year my GP sent me to so many scans to set my mind at ease 🙂 I am sure people thought I was crazy, but its not about them... Hope my response make sense I am trying to juggle the kids and type...lOL!

AmandaC

Michelle funny you say there should be a book on rediculous things people say to you during treatment there is a girl called "Tracey Hinde" on PC who is writing a book called pet peeves and its all the stuff we talk about going through and people say and do to us. You should gte onto her to add to her list 🙂

AmandaC

Wierd replying to you Steve seeing as you know my circumstances, but I really think you hit the nail on the head. Given for us your cancer was our 2nd round of going through the loss of family not caring and firends being to self absorbed. I am glad you have written about it to open up the lines for others to speak about their disappointments. Sham we to had no support I was barely able to stay awake and had to look after a 4 month old, I tell you now my 2nd son is the same age and I can't believe I made it through that period without help. It makes me so mad that people treat us as if we have been bad and thats why we have had cancer...my mum apparently cried to everyone about how awful it was but didn't even see me or my son. Just thinking baout it makes me mad all over again... Anyway, I am sure we have all experienced this to some degree.

AmandaC

Thank you for sharing your story. My mum had very little contact with me when I was ill and cried to everyone we knew that I was possibly dying....talk about self absorbed. I was also treated like I had done a bad thing getting cancer and got so sick of people acting like they were all to fantastic to get it. I like the idea or re-defining the line...that is where I am at now. My boys are only 3 1/2 and 14 weeks but my 3 1/2 year old really has been through alot and truely understands the importance of life. I'll bet your children our well rounded, fantastic young adults and how great you and your wife are embraking on the next stage of your relationship and still really inlove 🙂

AmandaC

Yeah my husband and I joke about it, he actually had chemo and I had the RAI. He gets sick less often than I do and he is 1 year post treatment and I am 3 years...something in that I think!

AmandaC

Well done! not only have you defied the odds, you have met someone great and are now getting married...here's to moving forward 🙂

AmandaC

I thought I would put the question out there and see who else spends all of their money on medical these days. Since I have had treatement I find I get sick (never used to), have worse allergies and generally spend every last spare cent on seeing doctors, specialists and having scans. Has anyone else experienced this?

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